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Deleted user
over 5 years ago

Hi,

I am not sure if what I am going to write about has been asked before or even if I have asked myself before. This is a really sensitive topic that I really want to get some feedback on.

I guess I am also wondering if anyone has struggled with anything similar. I have decided to post because I am not sure where else to turn. I am scared to raise it with people.

So what I wanted to ask was does anyone or has anyone found that they get attached to people easily. For myself it is with people that have been nice to me. I guess the only way I can explain it is. I got attached to someone who used to do a quick head/shoulder massage (in a shopping centre). They were kind to me. I found myself buying them a thank you card and a small gift. I would go back numerous times a week. In the end they told me it wasn't healthy and I stopped. I had another similar experience and bought another person a card and gift card to say thank you. I just get attached to them. I then worry that they won't be there anymore that I won't cope. This is has happened since I was at least 10 years of age and it happened with teachers. I could write a very long list of all the people I have become attached to. When I get attached I then fear something happening and them not being around anymore. I hate myself for it, I just feel like an awful person. I'm not sure why I do it either.

Please share if you have experience this. I am in a position where someone I am getting support from professionally shared an example of themselves to explain a situation and now  I feel like I know too much about them and fear something bad happening. 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Hi, I don't have own experience of this, but the adult son of a friend does it. It seems it's mainly because he is very social guy but he doesn't find many people that are kind to him, maybe briefly out of politeness but then they avoid him. So when someone is nice to him for longer then he gets really attached and he doesn't realise when people don't appreciate it. One time he kept following a woman who knew him and had been kind to him, making presents and all that, but she got worried about it and tried many times to get it across to him that she didn't want him to do that. In the end she asked the police for help, they were really nice and he did understand it then, but it's quite sad because his need for being close to someone is still just as strong.

    Does that sound familiar to you, this unsatisfied need for someone to be close to, or do you feel like this regardless what relationships you have with people? 

      

  • over 5 years ago in reply to oktanol

    Thanks for your reply and explaining the situation of your friend's son. I am not really sure where it comes from I just know it has been there from a young age. There could be an element of desiring to be close to someone. I just really find it embarrassing.

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  • over 5 years ago in reply to oktanol

    Thanks for your reply and explaining the situation of your friend's son. I am not really sure where it comes from I just know it has been there from a young age. There could be an element of desiring to be close to someone. I just really find it embarrassing.

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