Published on 12, July, 2020
Had appointment today to try and start sorting out my problems re navigating outside/orientating. Developed into a thing about social inclusion. I said I was quite asocial and not very proactive in engaging with other people. I said though that I would like to be able to interact better if a situation arose where I needed to. She couldn’t grasp that. I mentioned the problems with social interaction-initiating conversation and making small talk. At that she went on about anxiety as though these problems are solely related to anxiety. I had a hell of a largely unsuccessful job trying to get through to her that anxiety is one thing , but initiating conversations and small talk and being unsure of social rules something else. She said small talk was just about having a script to follow . Made it sound as though it was all just a minor issue.
I was polite but getting increasingly frustrated and stressed.
She even questioned in so many words the social care help my stepdaughter has arranged for me to get . Basically indirectly hinting that only the physically disabled need such help .
She very much went out of her way to minimise what I was telling her . After I had mentioned autism and nvld she pointed out I came over as quite easy to talk to . I told her it was because we were talking factually rather than making small talk. She did later say that some people find it easier to talk to a mental health professional one to one than they would necessarily someone else. I told her I only really felt comfortable talking with family or some mental health professionals and people with mental illness.
Ah! That makes more sense I guess. There aren't many people in the various health fields in most areas of the UK who do have autism training (yet). It's not unreasonable that the person you've been sent to has no knowledge of the intricacies of autism if whoever referred you didn't know that it's a consideration for you. Could you perhaps mention autism, rather than it's individual traits, to the woman? Or to the person who referred you to her? I was under the impression that an official diagnosis isn't necessarily required to access autism support (?) but, of course, I could be wrong about that.
I would think that, as long as your "definite autistic traits" are an issue for you, it shouldn't matter if they're not an issue for anyone else. Mine have only been an issue for me (as far as I'm aware) due to 'masking' all of my life and I was able to access an assessment. You don't necessarily need verification of your difficulties from anyone else at the assessment.
I'm afraid I don't know anything about non-verbal learning disorder though.
The trouble is I have definite autistic traits but am not diagnosed as such(doubtful Id meet full criteria)/it's not recognised as being an issue. I'm more likely non-verbal learning disordered but ,as we know, there's very little recognition of and support for that.
You don't say who the appointment was with but it doesn't sound as if she has a clue about autism. This being the case, why has this person been given the task of helping you with an aspect of autism? Isn't there someone more suited to the role that you could access instead?
I wouldn't expect a gynaecologist to be of much help with a fractured humerus and that sounds pretty much the same as the situation you have with this woman: she doesn't know her a*se from her elbow.
If small talk is just about having a script to follow I would ask her for a copy of the script. I wouldn't hold your breath waiting though.