Cadets do not understand

Thank you for the reply Mum of 3 .

I find the Marines are even worse than fellow Sea Cadets. (I am sure your Son would not be the same though!)  Now they do not have their marine baracks and cannot 'hide away' at stand easy they are mixing with us which means picking on me. Their are now more and more people there-over 60 now which is really hard for me. 

I think I do amazingly well given I can sucessfully take a sqaud (can't make them be quiet though) which involves leadership and me having to shout. But at the same time I feel what I do is not enough, they (staff or cadets) find something wrong with what I do. Their are other people in the unit who have disabilitys (concentration issues - from admin officer my mum) and I know some of them. The one I know no-one would ever guess. He is amazing compard to people with no such issue. 

Have you found any ways to help your son at cadets? If so could you please let me know!
It sounds like he has been going longer and still attends-so what have you managed to do to help? 

I have thought (for going away) to create a paragraph that could then be written on the T1. What I mean is it would include for example 2 sentances about what autism is and then a further 2 about how it specificly affects me. This may be more helpfull than just writing 'High functioning autism' which people have obviously not heard of. Wether every staff there would be made aware is another issue. 
Another idea I have is to make some cards which I could hold in the blue folder thing from the NAS. For exaple one I deffinatly want is "when I am reading do not come and disturb me" which I could just show If someone comes. 
Do you think either of these things are a good idea and would help me?  

Without knowing the facts, in full, you could be over reacting, longman, which may not be helpfull, even though I'm sure you're trying to be.

Amy, you should talk to your Mum about it - she will have some contact with the people in charge of the group, and will be able to relay to them how you feel and how they can best help you.

And, I think catwoman's suggestion's are the best way to start - if after that nothing changes, then what longman is saying might apply, but from the sound of it it's too early to jump to that conclusion.

Ah someone from the police is in charge.... doesn't sound healthy....an organisation that likes uniforms and playing soldiers in charge of young people....not good. And if you feel terrified of her that is disappointing.

Education of the police about autism is shockingly slow. I raised this several years back with our local police college to be told "we know all about that already". Apparently they get about ten minutes worth in a session on disability equality, so I cannot imagine they have any grasp.

No wonder large numbers on the spectrum have difficulty with the legal services.

All the same keep notes of anything that happens, so that if you ever need to take action you have a detailed record of incidents with dates and times and names. And while you may be apprehensive, that is your right to their help - they should have an anti-harrassment team, with participants apparently trained to be approachable and understanding.

Staff involved with an organisation for young people need to be cleared to do so, and should also undergo equality training.

What you describe sadly sounds like a badly run outfit.

Thank you for the replies.

I will continue to go because if I did not go I would have nothing to do. If I could I would go to lots of groups like I did last year, so in the summer I was always away doing activities.  But, all these groups lost funding and I have very little to go to. I still do not have any group for autism, now I have to wait 6 weeks for a referal to another place. 

I doubt the police will do anything longman. The OC/OiC (commanding officer/officer in charge) works in the police. Sometimes she visits in her uniform which is scary! I would never be able to talk to police.

I think what you are saying is better catwoman. I understand what you mean.   I think it would be really cool to do a lesson with each of the groups (seperatly) about people being different. For example when people were going one week then not the next they had a lesson about attendance and people go more regually now. 

However, the problem with this is none of the staff (exept from my mum who is now admin officer, she has to stay in the office though and cannot mix with any young people-something about insurance or saftey I assume) have any idea about autism. They do not know what autism is and since I did not know when I joined they just dont seam to care. It is really hard for me.  
If all the staff at my unit were aware it would be a massive help. When I go on courses away it is even harder because I do not know any of the staff and they do not know me. 

I am looking forward to the next time we wear civys though (civys means normal clothes as in not uniform) I have a t-shirt (which I almost never take off!) about autism. Maybe if I wear it people may realise that I do have autism. I do not know when we will next wear civys though. 

I have also thought about putting my NAS member badge on my uniform. But I am scared that I will be told off for wearing it so I have not done yet. (their is in partiquallar one member of staff that terrifys me) I also have the 'autism alert' card. I always have it with me but I am always unsure when to show it.   I think most of the cadets would make a big issue with it and find it highly entertaining to throw it around which would make me upset that I would not get it back. 

Amy, based on what you have said I am not sure that these kids are deliberately bullying you.  Coming over when you want to be left alone and singing at you or hugging you - if you observe them amongst themselves, do they do this sort of thing to each other?  Do they seem to mind?  But clearly they are giving you a very hard time and someone needs to tell them so.  Either you must do it, or you need to talk to one of the adults and they need to talk to them.

And it needs to be really specific - not just 'Don't bully Amy'.  Perhaps something along the following lines:

Amy has ASD.  That means it is very stressful for her to be here in a group.  Sometimes she needs to sit alone to decompress.  When she is sitting alone with a book, she needs to be left alone.

If she was NT, sitting alone would mean she was feeling lonely.  She would welcome a crowd of people coming and singing and hugging her.  Or, if she was NT and introverted, she would not welcome it, but she would be able to cope with it.   But she has ASD and she cannot cope with it.

So, please follow some rules (make up your own appropriate ones here Amy.  Something like:)  If Amy is reading a book, leave her alone.  Do not all try to speak to her at once, she can only deal with one person at a time.  Do not touch her hair.  Etc.

You do have to be explicit.  It is very difficult for huggy people to understand that not everyone likes to be hugged.  It is very important that they do come to understand it.  Find an adult to back you up on this.

I do hope you will be able to continue at Sea Cadets.

Sounds like a matter for the police. You do not have to accept harassment, especially discriminatory harassment.

However you do need to collect evidence and if possible have a witness. You may need to consider to what extent it is actual harassment and not just misunderstanding or sensitivity due to autism of what could be argued to be normal banter. But your disability counts here.

However the legal interpretation is if you perceive you are being harrassed. And if you report three successive incidents to the police, with an incident number for each, the police then have to act.

There are now legal firms that address disability discrimination. If I'm allowed to name one (NAS moderators please confirm) then I've been to presentations by Unity Law at my local parents' group, and a parent's group could put you in touch. They often now operate on a no result no fee basis, similar to accident and injury.

You joined this organisation in good faith. If they are a legitimate sea cadet organisation they should have a charter or code recognising honour, mutual respect, fair play and non-discrimination. They should practice what they preach or be disbanded. But maybe that's why they were low in numbers when you joined. Perhaps its a badly managed outfit, in which case in time they'll lose members again. 

Parents will not be keen to let their children join a cadet group where children get bullied unchecked.

School is somewhere where you enrol, and are under teacher's supervision, and its harder sometimes to get a result. A cadet group has to have officers who've been screened to work with young children/teenagers and should act responsibly. If they're not up to the job maybe a prosecution will ensure they don't get to take on such responsibilities again.