Cadets do not understand

I joined the Sea Cadet Corps on 6th September 2011. At the time I was considerd 'normal' (how I always have hated that word) but with some unusal habbits. I was not diagnosed with Autism (or as we now belive high functioning. All we know is I do not have Aspergers Syndrome) untill November/December 2011. 

I and my mum are still trying to work out exactly what type I have and what this means. Then try and get me some support with it. Added to my 16th birthday, moving house a lot recently, Leaving school and my GCSE exams it has taken a long time. Their is no-one at my school (which is a mainstreem school) who knows about autism despite the fact we have a large learning support centre for people with many complex needs (some in wheelchairs, others with learning dificulties) Now we are trying to work on making sure I have support next year. 

The place where I have the biggest problem is cadets. When I joined I was the first new entry there (everyone else was a higher rank) and their were very few of them. (8 sea cadets and I think 12 marines if everyone was there). It took me a long time to get used to the place and how things worked (makes sence  now we know I have autism but at the time it was 'just me' and what I always did) and as the only new person I was often just put into some other lesson.  

Since then their have been lots of new people join. Their are now 20 marines and at least 25 sea cadets including 8 new entires and 6 new entry cadets. I am now a sea cadet. My mum also goes to cadets and voulenteers in helping with paperwork and admin. She is always in the office and cannot mix with any cadets. 

The staff (not just my mum) do know about me having autism because it is written on my forms and has been when I went away for a weekend. But, this does not mean they help me. Before my mum started to go she went in and spoke to one of the staff (who has a disabled son) and asked if they could do even small things which would make a big difference for me. For example for me to stand at the edge when in a squad not in the middle. 

However, they did not do this. I have been bullied in cadets by the people who are lower rank than me since as soon as they joined in December. As more have joined the bullying has got worse because they all tell each other to bully me. All the 8 new entries that are there will bully me. 

I have with my mum spoken to staff and they say because it is not school thier is nothing they can do. I am very educated about bullying not just because I have had it for 13 years but because I have been trained as a mentor and I voulenteer online helping other people being bullied. My argument is that it is not like school and therefore they do not have to be there. Their is lots of cadets so throw the really bad ones out and hope the others are then nicer to me.

It really annoys me because at stand easy (as it is called but means break time) I want to sit on the floor in the corner and read my book. But I cannot because people come over and put things in my hair or hat, sit next to me/lean on me, get upset when I refuce to hug them, sing to me and everything else they have done. Last week I was crying because of it. 

I just do not know what to do anymore. I joined cadets because I expected it to be orderd and disiplied whcih I would like and because I got a love for kayaking in the summer and wanted to do other boatwork. I cannot go on any courses this summer because they were all booked before my unit told us the dates for them. I am thinking I should leave, but if I did I expect they would be sad because I am the only cadet who can learn things no-one else can learn. (although I get annoyed I cannot learn things everyone else finds easy). I do not know what to do because if I did leave I would not have anything to do all the time. 

sorry it is so long but please help me. 

Parents
  • Thank you for the reply Mum of 3 .

    I find the Marines are even worse than fellow Sea Cadets. (I am sure your Son would not be the same though!)  Now they do not have their marine baracks and cannot 'hide away' at stand easy they are mixing with us which means picking on me. Their are now more and more people there-over 60 now which is really hard for me. 

    I think I do amazingly well given I can sucessfully take a sqaud (can't make them be quiet though) which involves leadership and me having to shout. But at the same time I feel what I do is not enough, they (staff or cadets) find something wrong with what I do. Their are other people in the unit who have disabilitys (concentration issues - from admin officer my mum) and I know some of them. The one I know no-one would ever guess. He is amazing compard to people with no such issue. 

    Have you found any ways to help your son at cadets? If so could you please let me know!
    It sounds like he has been going longer and still attends-so what have you managed to do to help? 

    I have thought (for going away) to create a paragraph that could then be written on the T1. What I mean is it would include for example 2 sentances about what autism is and then a further 2 about how it specificly affects me. This may be more helpfull than just writing 'High functioning autism' which people have obviously not heard of. Wether every staff there would be made aware is another issue. 
    Another idea I have is to make some cards which I could hold in the blue folder thing from the NAS. For exaple one I deffinatly want is "when I am reading do not come and disturb me" which I could just show If someone comes. 
    Do you think either of these things are a good idea and would help me?  

Reply
  • Thank you for the reply Mum of 3 .

    I find the Marines are even worse than fellow Sea Cadets. (I am sure your Son would not be the same though!)  Now they do not have their marine baracks and cannot 'hide away' at stand easy they are mixing with us which means picking on me. Their are now more and more people there-over 60 now which is really hard for me. 

    I think I do amazingly well given I can sucessfully take a sqaud (can't make them be quiet though) which involves leadership and me having to shout. But at the same time I feel what I do is not enough, they (staff or cadets) find something wrong with what I do. Their are other people in the unit who have disabilitys (concentration issues - from admin officer my mum) and I know some of them. The one I know no-one would ever guess. He is amazing compard to people with no such issue. 

    Have you found any ways to help your son at cadets? If so could you please let me know!
    It sounds like he has been going longer and still attends-so what have you managed to do to help? 

    I have thought (for going away) to create a paragraph that could then be written on the T1. What I mean is it would include for example 2 sentances about what autism is and then a further 2 about how it specificly affects me. This may be more helpfull than just writing 'High functioning autism' which people have obviously not heard of. Wether every staff there would be made aware is another issue. 
    Another idea I have is to make some cards which I could hold in the blue folder thing from the NAS. For exaple one I deffinatly want is "when I am reading do not come and disturb me" which I could just show If someone comes. 
    Do you think either of these things are a good idea and would help me?  

Children
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