Cadets do not understand

I joined the Sea Cadet Corps on 6th September 2011. At the time I was considerd 'normal' (how I always have hated that word) but with some unusal habbits. I was not diagnosed with Autism (or as we now belive high functioning. All we know is I do not have Aspergers Syndrome) untill November/December 2011. 

I and my mum are still trying to work out exactly what type I have and what this means. Then try and get me some support with it. Added to my 16th birthday, moving house a lot recently, Leaving school and my GCSE exams it has taken a long time. Their is no-one at my school (which is a mainstreem school) who knows about autism despite the fact we have a large learning support centre for people with many complex needs (some in wheelchairs, others with learning dificulties) Now we are trying to work on making sure I have support next year. 

The place where I have the biggest problem is cadets. When I joined I was the first new entry there (everyone else was a higher rank) and their were very few of them. (8 sea cadets and I think 12 marines if everyone was there). It took me a long time to get used to the place and how things worked (makes sence  now we know I have autism but at the time it was 'just me' and what I always did) and as the only new person I was often just put into some other lesson.  

Since then their have been lots of new people join. Their are now 20 marines and at least 25 sea cadets including 8 new entires and 6 new entry cadets. I am now a sea cadet. My mum also goes to cadets and voulenteers in helping with paperwork and admin. She is always in the office and cannot mix with any cadets. 

The staff (not just my mum) do know about me having autism because it is written on my forms and has been when I went away for a weekend. But, this does not mean they help me. Before my mum started to go she went in and spoke to one of the staff (who has a disabled son) and asked if they could do even small things which would make a big difference for me. For example for me to stand at the edge when in a squad not in the middle. 

However, they did not do this. I have been bullied in cadets by the people who are lower rank than me since as soon as they joined in December. As more have joined the bullying has got worse because they all tell each other to bully me. All the 8 new entries that are there will bully me. 

I have with my mum spoken to staff and they say because it is not school thier is nothing they can do. I am very educated about bullying not just because I have had it for 13 years but because I have been trained as a mentor and I voulenteer online helping other people being bullied. My argument is that it is not like school and therefore they do not have to be there. Their is lots of cadets so throw the really bad ones out and hope the others are then nicer to me.

It really annoys me because at stand easy (as it is called but means break time) I want to sit on the floor in the corner and read my book. But I cannot because people come over and put things in my hair or hat, sit next to me/lean on me, get upset when I refuce to hug them, sing to me and everything else they have done. Last week I was crying because of it. 

I just do not know what to do anymore. I joined cadets because I expected it to be orderd and disiplied whcih I would like and because I got a love for kayaking in the summer and wanted to do other boatwork. I cannot go on any courses this summer because they were all booked before my unit told us the dates for them. I am thinking I should leave, but if I did I expect they would be sad because I am the only cadet who can learn things no-one else can learn. (although I get annoyed I cannot learn things everyone else finds easy). I do not know what to do because if I did leave I would not have anything to do all the time. 

sorry it is so long but please help me. 

Parents
  • Thank you for the replies.

    I will continue to go because if I did not go I would have nothing to do. If I could I would go to lots of groups like I did last year, so in the summer I was always away doing activities.  But, all these groups lost funding and I have very little to go to. I still do not have any group for autism, now I have to wait 6 weeks for a referal to another place. 

    I doubt the police will do anything longman. The OC/OiC (commanding officer/officer in charge) works in the police. Sometimes she visits in her uniform which is scary! I would never be able to talk to police.

    I think what you are saying is better catwoman. I understand what you mean.   I think it would be really cool to do a lesson with each of the groups (seperatly) about people being different. For example when people were going one week then not the next they had a lesson about attendance and people go more regually now. 

    However, the problem with this is none of the staff (exept from my mum who is now admin officer, she has to stay in the office though and cannot mix with any young people-something about insurance or saftey I assume) have any idea about autism. They do not know what autism is and since I did not know when I joined they just dont seam to care. It is really hard for me.  
    If all the staff at my unit were aware it would be a massive help. When I go on courses away it is even harder because I do not know any of the staff and they do not know me. 

    I am looking forward to the next time we wear civys though (civys means normal clothes as in not uniform) I have a t-shirt (which I almost never take off!) about autism. Maybe if I wear it people may realise that I do have autism. I do not know when we will next wear civys though. 

    I have also thought about putting my NAS member badge on my uniform. But I am scared that I will be told off for wearing it so I have not done yet. (their is in partiquallar one member of staff that terrifys me) I also have the 'autism alert' card. I always have it with me but I am always unsure when to show it.   I think most of the cadets would make a big issue with it and find it highly entertaining to throw it around which would make me upset that I would not get it back. 

Reply
  • Thank you for the replies.

    I will continue to go because if I did not go I would have nothing to do. If I could I would go to lots of groups like I did last year, so in the summer I was always away doing activities.  But, all these groups lost funding and I have very little to go to. I still do not have any group for autism, now I have to wait 6 weeks for a referal to another place. 

    I doubt the police will do anything longman. The OC/OiC (commanding officer/officer in charge) works in the police. Sometimes she visits in her uniform which is scary! I would never be able to talk to police.

    I think what you are saying is better catwoman. I understand what you mean.   I think it would be really cool to do a lesson with each of the groups (seperatly) about people being different. For example when people were going one week then not the next they had a lesson about attendance and people go more regually now. 

    However, the problem with this is none of the staff (exept from my mum who is now admin officer, she has to stay in the office though and cannot mix with any young people-something about insurance or saftey I assume) have any idea about autism. They do not know what autism is and since I did not know when I joined they just dont seam to care. It is really hard for me.  
    If all the staff at my unit were aware it would be a massive help. When I go on courses away it is even harder because I do not know any of the staff and they do not know me. 

    I am looking forward to the next time we wear civys though (civys means normal clothes as in not uniform) I have a t-shirt (which I almost never take off!) about autism. Maybe if I wear it people may realise that I do have autism. I do not know when we will next wear civys though. 

    I have also thought about putting my NAS member badge on my uniform. But I am scared that I will be told off for wearing it so I have not done yet. (their is in partiquallar one member of staff that terrifys me) I also have the 'autism alert' card. I always have it with me but I am always unsure when to show it.   I think most of the cadets would make a big issue with it and find it highly entertaining to throw it around which would make me upset that I would not get it back. 

Children
No Data