Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have a horror of talking on the phone? I have hated using the phone since I was a child, although it is hard to pin down exactly why I dislike it so much. I think my main difficulty is 'reading' how a conversation is going when I can't see the other person. I pause for too long, or jump in too soon, or struggle to pick up crucial info from their tone - is this a bad time to call? am I making myself clear?
I am currently going through a work-related nightmare scenario where I have been asked to make loads of phone calls - in a situation I have always previously handled by email - and I feel stressed and anxious about all the time: anticipating the calls, making the calls, reflecting on the calls. It is supposed to be making everyone feel encouraged, but if any of the hapless recipients are like me they will be thoroughly put off!
I have always thought this was just a random failure on my part, but now I am wondering whether it is integral to my nature.
I hate using the phone if I don't know someone. Ironically like yourself I used to constantly have to use the phone at work. I had several jobs where I had to use the phone. It actually made me spiral into addiction. I'd worked in construction, been a welder, worked in distribution centres and I wasn't too anxious. I was relatively sober before I worked in an office environment with phones, flourescent lights and too much noise to deal with.
Reflecting on the calls was a major part of it all. I used to work face-to-face too. I just couldn't separate myself from anything. I used to work in rehabilitating drug addicts (ironically I had a massive problem myself) for a time and it was awful, some of my co-workers attitudes towards the people was awful and some of the addicts attitudes towards life and society was awful. That job ended in a freak out and a fracas with a co-worker who basically left a guy who was trying homeless. I worked in fraud investigation and some of the cases were hard to stay neutral in. I did but the reflection was terrible. I was great at the job too but I ended up a total wreck. Time went on and I walked out on my job after being forced towards a promotion. I had a breakdown shortly after and have had some nasty addiction and anxiety issues. I'm sober now though but still have some mental health issues. It all lead to my diagnosis though.
Since I had my breakdown I can't do phones unless I absolutely have to. It's like I used it all up. I don't know if it's the Autism, life without a chemical crutch or my anxiety. I know this is an old post but I'm just trying to figure out why I'm so bad on the phone now. If anyone has any idea, I'd sure like some input!
It sounds like you've had a lot of workplace stress, so maybe it's that you associate using phones with those bad periods of your life. Just a guess.
ProtectorOfTheSmall said:I've always been terrible on the phone. I don't know why it confuses me so much, but even relatives ask me 'are you still there?' sometimes! I either seem to be interrupting them or standing nodding silently like an idiot. And that's with people i actually know. I'm usually far too anxious to pick up or make a call to anyone else.
I am exactly the same!
I've always been terrible on the phone. I don't know why it confuses me so much, but even relatives ask me 'are you still there?' sometimes! I either seem to be interrupting them or standing nodding silently like an idiot. And that's with people i actually know. I'm usually far too anxious to pick up or make a call to anyone else.
Thanks for your insight. Never thought of it that way. I can't believe how monumentally bad I am now. That's probably logical though. God, I'm bad on a phone though!