Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have a horror of talking on the phone? I have hated using the phone since I was a child, although it is hard to pin down exactly why I dislike it so much. I think my main difficulty is 'reading' how a conversation is going when I can't see the other person. I pause for too long, or jump in too soon, or struggle to pick up crucial info from their tone - is this a bad time to call? am I making myself clear?
I am currently going through a work-related nightmare scenario where I have been asked to make loads of phone calls - in a situation I have always previously handled by email - and I feel stressed and anxious about all the time: anticipating the calls, making the calls, reflecting on the calls. It is supposed to be making everyone feel encouraged, but if any of the hapless recipients are like me they will be thoroughly put off!
I have always thought this was just a random failure on my part, but now I am wondering whether it is integral to my nature.
Yes. Especially if I have to make the call, in which case for me it is - as you said - not knowing if it's a good time for the other person, what mood they might be in, how they might respond. Plus it's very intimate - like having the other person's mouth next to your ear, and there's no-one there to help you out if you get into difficulty (as there would be in a small group).
When I started work 25 years ago, I wandered over to someone's desk and was asking them something technical, and he said "I don't know - Dave in engineering will; let's call him", as he reached for the phone. In my head I was thinking "What? Now? Are you mad? You don't need time to prepare? Think over what you might say? Pluck up courage and plan for possible reactions?" I learned that most people just pick up the phone and call. Sheesh.
Any phonecall needs a lot of planning. And I still end up with very long pauses while I try to work out what to say :p Skype messaging is saving me a lot at the moment when I need to get hold of people at work : ) it's great
Me too - I dread a letter from some company requiring me to ring them. The person I will talk to will be skilled in manipulating me to get money or something out of me - and I'm going into battle unarmed.
So I delay and delay.
I can't process what they say fast enough to be confident that I'm able to make decisions over the phone.