Published on 12, July, 2020
I was wondering how many of you have someone in person who you trust and feel you can talk openly about your autistic struggles and triumphs?
Although I don't actively seek a social life and I am happy spending time on my own, I do wish I had someone who I could talk to about some of the struggles I have been going through as well as share some of the good stuff as well.
My partner is a very understanding NT, but I sense he is tired of hearing me go on about autism and daily struggles to the point I try not to say much now unless it comes up in conversation.
I have been experiencing lots of shutdowns and difficulties at work and I envy work colleagues who have friends they can share these problems with, just to get a different perspective and feel like they are not alone or useless. You guys have been very helpful and supportive since my diagnosis and have taught me so much, but I am starting to feel like I need to speak with someone, who may be ND or at least has a very good understanding, just to talk about some of this weight and pressure I seem to be carrying as a result of not coping very well at times. It would be nice to share things with someone who I don't have to explain or play down things in order to be understood and likewise maybe even laugh at the stupidity of some situations. I also like helping other people as well and colleagues often confide in me at work as I am a good diplomat, problem solver and always act in strictest confidence . I don't get emotionally wrapped up in their problems or take sides, so I often provide a logical perspective. The problem is, I am seen more as an off-loading tool, where people rarely ask me how I am or really care about what is going on in my life. I don't want to go shouting about on my problems, but at the same time it would be nice to share problems with someone, to debate all options and share a different perspective that isn't my own. I have come to realise that what I provide for others, I rarely get back or I don't trust people enough to feel they have my interests at heart.
I was wondering if you have someone you can share and confide in, where you are not judge or made to feel uncomfortable?
It will be good to hear your thoughts on the subject.
It sounds like my own voice. I too am desperate for someone to talk to who has some understanding of the daily struggle that is being late diagnosed AS.
Unlike you I no longer have a partner or husband. I also have no contact with any relatives except my son who has Aspergers as well as being profoundly deaf. My own family dumped me over 2 decades ago, I think it was because they didn't like my habit of telling the truth as well as having an excellent, and long, memory. This awful syndrome is a legacy passed down through rthe paternal side of the family, I believe my sister and brother were lucky enoufgh not to be affected and have both gone on to have wonderful, prosperous lives (I only know what I see as neither of them has spoken to me for over 20yrs),
I also find the work situation absolutely exhausting. I get so depressed listening to everyone going on about their busy, happy lives, holidays, weekends away, family visits etc. I envy them so much it makes it nearly impossible to funcyion properly.
I only have 2 friends, both NT, they are quite supportive but find it impossible to understand just what being AS actually means. I can often tell that they are just getting bored with all this Autism talk. Mine is a very late diagnosis and being female means that I have masked my difficulties all my life so now no one seems to understand that I am having problems. I was recebtly made redundant from my main job (no redundancy pay) and now find myself with only a few hours a week. it was not perfect but was pretty much the only regular social contact I had. At my age it is unlikely that I will find suitable work, there doesnt seem to be any proper job seeking support, so am condemned to living in poverty. It is all pretty awful but I am sure that if I could talk to someone who understands my specific problems it might make life easier.