Published on 12, July, 2020
I think I am autistic, I have struggled my entire life with many aspects of life, and as I am sure many others on here have done, developed my coping techniques. A diagnosis will not change who I am or how I live my life. Or would it?
For most of my life I have suffered from alcoholism (late teens to early 40's) and it is only now that I am sober for a length of time that I have been able to question my behaviours and come to the conclusion that I may be autistic.
I have taken a few online test and I think the results speak for themselves. AQ50 score of 41, EQ score of 16, Aspie Neurodiverse score 120/200, Neurotypical 84/200 you are very likely Neurodiverse, RAADS-R 142.0.
I am just wondering if a formal diagnosis is worth pursuing? I think it would help me come to terms with how I often feel and provide me with a reason to give to others to explain how I am but the thought of going to my GP, asking for a referral, discussing personal feelings/behaviours and then having to go through it all again at an assessment horrifies me! And I do mean horrifies!!!!
I am currently on strong anti-depressants (citalopram 20mg & Mirtazapine 45mg) but question how much benefit I am getting from them. Whenever I tell my GP that I still feel depressed she just ups the dosage. So not sure how responsive she will be to me asking for a referral for autism.
I don't think self-diagnosis is good enough, I want to know for sure but the process seems off putting.
Have others that have been diagnosed as adults felt a formal diagnosis beneficial?
Thanks in advance for any replies
In addition to Tom's excellent reply, it is probably also worth mentioning that the specialist who diagnosed me told me that if I were to ever go down the route of medication for my anxiety, I need to make sure the doctor is aware that I have an ASD diagnosis. Apparently some medications act differently/more powerfully on people like us, so the doctor should have that information prior to prescribing.
Given that you are taking anti-depressants already, a diagnosis may go some way to explaining why they don't really seem to be working for you.
From a personal viewpoint, I would say that getting a diagnosis was definitely worth it. It has explained so many things in my life .... well, all of it really! I also think it is helpful to know that you are dealing with 'anxiety arising from issues connected to autism' rather than just generalised anxiety (or simply cracking up, which is what I thought was happening to me before I knew the reason). Some strategies for managing anxiety and depression may simply not work, or not work very well, when it's autism related, so I think it's pretty important to know.
Best of luck with whatever you decide, and I hope you find some calm in life