Published on 12, July, 2020
I think I am autistic, I have struggled my entire life with many aspects of life, and as I am sure many others on here have done, developed my coping techniques. A diagnosis will not change who I am or how I live my life. Or would it?
For most of my life I have suffered from alcoholism (late teens to early 40's) and it is only now that I am sober for a length of time that I have been able to question my behaviours and come to the conclusion that I may be autistic.
I have taken a few online test and I think the results speak for themselves. AQ50 score of 41, EQ score of 16, Aspie Neurodiverse score 120/200, Neurotypical 84/200 you are very likely Neurodiverse, RAADS-R 142.0.
I am just wondering if a formal diagnosis is worth pursuing? I think it would help me come to terms with how I often feel and provide me with a reason to give to others to explain how I am but the thought of going to my GP, asking for a referral, discussing personal feelings/behaviours and then having to go through it all again at an assessment horrifies me! And I do mean horrifies!!!!
I am currently on strong anti-depressants (citalopram 20mg & Mirtazapine 45mg) but question how much benefit I am getting from them. Whenever I tell my GP that I still feel depressed she just ups the dosage. So not sure how responsive she will be to me asking for a referral for autism.
I don't think self-diagnosis is good enough, I want to know for sure but the process seems off putting.
Have others that have been diagnosed as adults felt a formal diagnosis beneficial?
Thanks in advance for any replies
Rob43 said:I think it would help me come to terms with how I often feel and provide me with a reason to give to others to explain how I am
Hi there,
That's precisely why I pursued diagnosis, having had a therapist (whom I was seeing for depression and drink problems) suggest it to me when I was 54. I had to wait just over two years from referral to actually getting that formal piece of paper, but it was worth it. I'm now 58. Granted, there's hardly anything available to me now in terms of support, but my employer knows and is able to work with me positively on it. And my whole life makes sense to me at last!
You will need to steel yourself. Take the evidence you have to your GP (I scored 42 on the AQ, so close to your score) and say you would like a referral. Tell them everything - as I did (though I also had my therapist's back-up). If they demur - persist. You have a right to this. It doesn't matter how old you are. They may refer you to mental health services. If they do, don't always expect to get a positive reception. For me, it was a blind alley. I had one psychiatrist tell me I couldn't be autistic because I didn't flap my hands! Even the experts don't always know what they're talking about. That's not to say, though, that you will necessarily fare the same. It may work for you to try that route first.
My mental health has improved tremendously since I got my diagnosis. It was like the Enigma machine that finally broke the code of my life, so that all the messages finally made sense. No longer am I able to simply be dismissed as 'depressive', 'anxious', 'anti-social', 'rude', 'a loner', 'inept', etc. I can be taken seriously now. I have a condition that's universally recognised (if not universally understood).
Some people are content with self-diagnosis, which is fine. You sound like me, though, and want that extra confirmation and validation.
I say... Go for it!
Best of luck,
Tom