Published on 12, July, 2020
I am autistic and so is my child. All my family know about my child's diagnosis and some know about mine. Despite this, I feel intense rejection or isolation from some members of my family. As though every time my child gets upset the other children are whisked away and told it's not their fault (not that it is is there fault but it's the whisk them off and turn their back on my child which hurts). If any other child in my family was upset I would try and comfort them and reassure them. This doesn't seem to happen for my child (by some).
I feel such intense loneliness sometimes and that is my worse fear for my child; that they will be lonely. It hurts so incredibly much that some members of my family seem to struggle to accept us. It could be my own misinterpretation but it causes such anxiety and nausea.
Has anyone else felt this kind of rejection and loneliness and it be unfounded? I want it to be unfounded.
I thought that might be the case on both counts. I hope you can make some space for yourself too. Dancing in treacle is such a good way to put it! I’ve had to focus on my dad a lot more recently amongst other things.
I think it’s an odd combination or both those things. I don’t just feel it in the worknplace or school but amongst family and socially. I think it’s one of the reasons I have withdrawn more.
Processing is one thing, articulating and moving forward is challenging, but not impossible
Yes, and processing and realising what would help isn't really all it takes. If that offends or irritates others then it only isolates more. Guess that's also a problem NAS6319 has.
A double edged sword....revealed is what you are dealing with....so greater understanding...but then the need to process and manage it
I think it does help me, it seems a bit more normal if others have similar issues, less of a reason to punish myself for things that other people don't seem to do or have, so that's good. I can see what you mean, don't think I get this so much myself. If it makes me feel worse sometimes then it's more because it's showing me that it's real somehow, not imagined and not some kind of phase that will pass as soon as the reason that caused it passes. Not so easy to admit and accept that this reason is something that will probably not pass.
Me....
1 x card
A household of guests have been organised throughout, plus marking
it is good to hear from you...so you are dancing in a thick puddle of treacle :(
Do you feel slightly less isolated being here?
I sometimes find that the closeness here just makes the rest of things even more acutely isolationary
Robert124 said:Loneliness is awful when you're surrounded by people, yet totally disconnected and alone. That's what I often experienced at school. Both in the classroom and during break times when it was even worse.
Yep, exactly that. Can't quite decide at the moment if it helps to find out that others have exactly the same issue or if it's rather making it worse, but either way, it's good to see people being honest about it.
Hello Ellie X. My bubble is rather overwhelming at the moment. I make a bit of progress but then things get in a jumble or take a few steps back and I can’t keep up! And so it continues. How’s yours? Looking forward to 2 weeks off soon? Or is that more being busy but a different kind?
Hi Missy.....how’s your bubble.? X
Me too Ellie. And Deepthought. Sadly I identify all too well with the numbered points
Sound advice ;)
.
Hmm.
Can I suggest that you (and the rest of us, for that matter) stay well away from the medical section of https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0141985542/
(joke, and yes, I know I must be showing my age...)
The comprehensive and black and white-ness-ness is the situation in a nutshell!!!! - the term "suffering from"....didn't help either!
Almost the same as the knocking of my elephant stuffing when reading through Tania Marshalls Aspie Woman's checklist the first 20 times!
DeepThought may possibly attribute this is a fairly common comorbidity with ASD/Aspie people.....as with anxiety, depression, dyslexia, etc etc
Please no one post any other checklists or tests....or I may end up with a long list of attributes/conditions and afflictions! (joke)
Oh ., was it really such a surprise, given the collective posts on this thread? Or simply a bit of a shock "seeing your suspicions in black and white"? I can totally relate to the latter feeling, hence my "knocked sideways" introductory post.
I wrote out our Xmas cards yesterday. It didn't take long!
5 immediate neighbours that we hardly speak to,
3 cards to family, (which is an increase on last year),
1 card to the centenarian that lives next door to my childhood home.
1 card to a friend. We actually meet about once a year, but might exchange messages every few months.
Well DeepThought, that has really cheered me up! ;/
This Elephantintheroom identifies with all of the above - with or without the irony of number 6.
Further more:
Jennifer Garam wrote:
In my experience Katz is right: the times I have pushed through my resistance to broach the subject with a friend and tell them that it hurts my feelings when they're unresponsive to my calls, texts, or attempts to get together, they've almost always apologized and explained what's been going on in their life to cause them to be so out of touch.
"It takes a lot of courage to truly reach out in such a way that you're going to be seen by other people, but it's imperative that we do it," Katz says. For him, one of the highest levels of friendship involves connecting through brokenness. "The people I've shown my brokenness to and seen their brokenness are inevitably the people who are my best friends," he says. "And it's a very hard thing to do, but we can use our loneliness as a way to connect."
Copied and Pasted from:
https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/9bkvyy/whats-it-like-to-have-chronic-loneliness