Not sure what to do

The best way to describe how my life feels at the moment is overwhelming.  

My health and ability to cope with things has been deteriorating slowly over time and this is nothing unusual; I go through these phases and have done throughout my life.

What is different now is that everything seems so much more intense and the standard I have to work to are much higher.  I can't get away with having a bad day or even bad month as nothing slows or stops to accommodate it.  I am now a mature woman and as such, people expect me to tolerate and cope with the toils of life, but in fact I still struggle as I did back in my teens, just I hide it better.

As described in other posts, I have been back to my GP as a result of sensory issues and having shutdowns at work and I was told I would be referred to a specialist and would hear within 7 days etc.  That was over a month ago...

My referral has been rejected twice already due to the facilities it has been referred to not being capable of dealing with 'my type of case'.  Meanwhile it has now been referred to somewhere else and I am told to give it more time and be patient.  That's all well and great when you are in a fit state to deal with everything.  Why is it medical experts don't seem to realise time is not on your side in these situations as you are sliding faster down a slippery slope that becomes much harder to climb back up again.  Also, instead of being referred for sensory issues, I have been referred for a mental health assessment.  I am confused and flabbergasted by the whole thing.

As a result I am left feeling like I am trying to drastically hold onto sand that is slowly slipping through my fingers.

There are other personal factors that have probably contributed to how I am feeling and reacting as well, but the main issue is that I am now just functioning as in getting up and going to work and that has been hit and miss on occasions.  My routines that I so strongly rely on to make sure I eat and eat healthy as well as keep my house clean and tidy, I can no longer achieve or even comprehend, which is only heightening my stress levels - I must follow these routines in order to feel calm and in control.  My self-care has also lapsed and everything seems a massive chore.  Even my special interests just seem too much to even think about or get actively involved in.  To make matters worse, my partner is also going through a bad time, so he has his own battles to fight without having to deal with mine.

I am aware I am having an intense period of emotions and that they are bad, but I cannot differentiate what they are or even as to why I am feeling them or what lead me to this point.  Not seeing the wood for the trees could be a possible issue.

Either way, I now don't know what to do.  

I have no one to turn to and even if I did, I don't know what I would say or do as I cannot express myself verbally in these situations.

To summarise, I am tired and I know it is only a matter of time before I roll over and give in because I can't battle on any more.  This is why I get so frustrated that everything surrounding mental health is based on time and the infinite amount of it apparently.

I am normally a good problem solver, but I can't see a way out of this one and that is what troubles me the most.

Parents Reply

  • Interesting reading and you can see my dilemma.

    I think perhaps the dilemma is more of a problem for your employment advisor currently, for if you were to do as he suggested, you would run the risk seemingly of joining him on the wrong side of the Law.

    Do I tell the truth when asked directly, do I lie, should I be economical with the truth.

    If you are asked directly on a written application or during an interview for paid employment, answer truthfully, as the application and interview are the basis for a legally binding contract involving employment, pay and rights ~ i.e. reasonable adjustments, union memberships and all that.

    Considering then the following:

    The actual truth is:

    1. Heart failure, mostly recovered with medication.
    2. Depression with multiple suicide attempts with paracetamol.
    3. Autism and other mental health issues.
    4. I was anaemic for a couple of years.

    Difficult to cover all that up.

    If you need to be economical with the facts of your health conditions, that is of course to an extent up to you. You are after all permitted to keep some things private if you so choose.

    It is not advisable to "cover up' any details though about your health that are likely to effect your legal obligation as an employee ~ i.e. to do as contractually agreed upon when as such required by an employer.

    As far then as you employment advisor is concerned, it might be worth writing a letter to the DWP stating your concerns upon the advice received, and ask for clarification upon that advice.

    It might also be worth from this point on recording your conversations with DWP personal and so fourth in respect of finding employment, and stating this in the letter also.

    As such you would then be in a better position to clarify, or have clarified conversational topic matters that you are not sure of, or do not understand ~ on account of the social communication, interaction and imagination impairments involved with being autistic.

    If this seems to be a viable option for you, here is a link on recording conversations from a legal standpoint in the UK:

    It might also be helpful to know the following information mentioned in the link above:

    Under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA), it is not illegal for individuals to tape conversations provided the recording is for their own use. Recording or monitoring is only prohibited where some of the contents of the communication are made available to a third party. 13 Mar 2006

    As a final consideration in respect of your financial difficulties, it might be very well worth getting in touch with the Citizens Advice Bureau, if you have not already, as they really can be of immense assistance in debt consolidation and management, and depending upon your location there are charities that may be able to relive some of the financial burden also.
    If this information is partially or wholly of any interest to you use the following link: 

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