Published on 12, July, 2020
I am looking for a bit of advice really. My predicament revolves around being autistic and having a job. Around 9 months ago, I lost my job as a civil servant with the DWP. They unfairly dismissed me because I did have reasonable adjustments but they kept taking them off me etc. which lead to my mental health declining and I began underperforming – this to me meant maybe a call centre environment was the wrong place for me to work as I dont do too well with telephones.
I've been in and out of jobs for the last 9 months, my most recent one ended because they just didn't care about me and took advantage of me. The part I am really struggling with is the pressure from my family to get another job to where they keep suggesting I go for jobs in call centres because they hire in large volumes and I will more than likely get it because I am articulate and intelligent thanks to my aspergers.
I try to tell them that these are jobs I will likely fail or get fired from because I don't operate the way they would want a typical call centre worker to operate, my family sometimes seems to be of the belief that Autism and aspergers isn't necessarily a disability and that through confronting the issues we face we can just get over them. in addition to this my mum is of the opinion that I'm only autistic because of the things I have been through in my life because I was only diagnosed two years ago where as I know I was born autistic. I understand they just want me to have a job and live independently with my partner like I did this time last year but I cannot work in a call centre!
Im trying to keep everyone happy which is what I always seem to do so I don't disappoint anyone but from past experience this puts me in a tricky position! Its not me being closed minded in terms of working, I want to, but I also want to be comfortable and able to work somewhere to start with!
I'm just not sure how to help them understand without disappointing them or making them think I'm trying to make excuses to not do things etc. does anyone have any advice?
Ignore them and look for a job that's right for you. Obviously that's better for you but in the long run it'll also be better for them as you'll have a job you can sustain. From my experience I imagine they only want what's best for you but that doesn't mean that they know what's best for you so as I said ignore them and do what you want. In the end it'll pay off for everyone.
"NAS35206"]I imagine they only want what's best for you but that doesn't mean that they know what's best for you[/quote] ~ well said, brilliant advice. I am learning to do what's best for me and their voices still creep in but I'm ignoring them because my family and friends most definitely do not know what's best for me.
It's funny, I was thinking about that today, about how people don't like to be wrong and sometimes I'm just talking but people think I'm trying to prove them wrong or something or like I know more than them and it's not like that at all. My dad in particular is like this. However, now I'm aware of it I can be more careful to try and monitor what I say. I don't spend much time with NT's so it's not too much trouble and if it creates more harmonious relationships then I'll do it. And yeah, I can relate to the stubbornness and it has definitely worked more in my favour.
Yeah it's something I learnt quite a long time ago but I didn't really know I was doing it! Like I am just very stubborn and I learnt that actually that's not such a bad thing particularly when you feel you know what would make you happy and in the end my parents were glad I didn't listen to them...mostly...they admit quietly (they also can't stand being wrong)!