Doubts about gender identity

My experience, based on a rather small sample, is that there is a strong overlap between being on the Spectrum and having at least some doubts about ones gender identity.  Possibly our lack of social awareness (= tact) means we are more ready to admit to something that most people would keep well hidden.  Possibly there is a real correlation.

At one point I found that of the four male Aspies regularly posting to a small forum, three had well developed female personas.  Too small a sample, but interesting.  Another forum member was a paintball ref and really one of the lads (and female).

Anyone else willing to speak for themselves?  Any parents noticed boyish girls or girlish boys?

  • A rather late response to Wolfbear.  I might be quicker if email notifications of replies work.


    I didn't mention homosexuality.  That is another question.

  • Personally I am fond of the word 'androgeny'.

  • Well now I DID mention Homosexuality. As the experience of gender dysphoria and homosexuality have no problem in holding hand from time to time and I think is pertanant.

    This is a recognition of the observation rerarding presented mixed personas, the range of experience this can relate to is expansive and includes the question of both dysphoria in isolation and homosexuality as a finding in some as a result of initial dysphoria. The subject of sexual identity is vast and an area that in my opinion needs the broadest of approach and the gentlest of touches if any person is to find healthy expression and security.

    With this issue and its deamons (not a miss spelling) size nines, preconceptions and prejudices of any nature will make the journey for any ASD Adult tough enough, never mind the specifics of this condition, (ASD and Dysphoria) and how it is handled by NT's with fears and agendas, Sexual experience  in its many forms as an off limits matter for anyone with ASD is a revisit to victoriana and a recipe for exploitation and abuse.

    If there was a limit to the expectation of the subject dysphoria and its experiences, the issue of homosexuality was not part of that expectations, then I can understand your reserve, but get out more and read lots more!

    Does anyone else have another view on any other aspects of gender dysphoria and identity.  There is room surely for this discussion to include Trans-sexuality? Coss-gender presentations? plain old confusion? any takers ? any givers?

    Have some pride !

    "Closet closed"

  • I agree that homosexuality and gender dysphoria are commonly associated and lumped together as LGBT = anything non-mainstream to to with sex or gender.  They are also commonly confused, even by doctors.

    If a person transitions MTF or FTM and keeps their orientation, which is usual, they will be homosexual either before or more usually after, so that does link the two subjects even more.  They are still not the same condition though.

    The psychiatrist I saw about my doubts as to my gender identity said that I couldn't be trans-sexual.  His main reason was that trans-sexuals present in their early 20's.  There are a number of things wrong with his reasoning: for a start the only published figures I could find were from Leeds NHS and said the median age of presentation was 42.

    If I had gone to a doctor in my early 20's and said I thought I had gender dysphoria - which I wouldn't because the term had not been invented then - I think the most likely response would have been "Oh, you are telling me you are homosexual.  That's illegal, I'll have to tell the police."

  • Well put and a clear datum on the subject, whilst the journey you took was more like the blind alley myself and any other person takes, in the absence of labels. The light at the end of the tunnel lands each person on a different path. I merely wished to highlight that in this refracting process of gender identity and who am I, one of the out pipes is homosexuality and as you ahave eloquently presented transition is the conclusion and out pipe as another part of this.

    Have you ever considered before the advent of surgery as we know it what the healthy options in an inclusive society would be, how would a free person go about their life in a happy manner if they were able to do so and what would that be like for an inclusive people group to witness and then respond positivrely to. I have no reservations about the choice of transition and am in no doubt of the relief and orientation it provides for the recipient. I whish and have personally explored this issue in great depth and from a position of considerable innocence, ignorance and vulnerability. 

    Whilst the presententions of such social inclusion are limited, they do exist and have an emmence effect in the positive, as you state you clearly experience yourself in this time.

    To expand this in wider society was once a norm and 3500 years has passed. The hows and whys of our illuded neighbours are the rocks upon which we can flounder in this time.

    Proper intelegent stuff pleased to meet you.