TW - ASD and suicide prevention

Are there any suicide prevention support services aimed specifically at people with ASD? I'm not sure what I'm actually asking for in particular. I have a strong urge to hurt myself but traditional helplines are not good for me because I can't speak on the phone. I use the Samaritans email service, but I have noted a pattern in their responses which makes me suspect that I might not be communicating with an actual person on the other side. Besides, I have a fairly immediate plan and email response takes some time. 

I just want someone to understand that I don't want to be autistic any more. The daily effort I expend to do things that other people take for granted is greater than the sum of the rewards I get for trying. The only way I can think of to get a rest is to switch my brain off permanently. I would appreciate someone who could guide me towards a different strategy that works. 

  • If possible call your GP and make an urgent appointment. The GP should make sure you get appropriate help and support.

    If it’s outside GP hours you could call  111  to reach the NHS 111 service:   http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx

    The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

    MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.

    If you are ever very close to doing something to hurt yourself you should call 999 or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.

    If you need help with an autism related issue, the helpline can be emailed on autismhelpline@nas.org.uk or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104.

  • Thank you, I appreciate your reply.

    I have used all of these resources in the past week or so in an effort to stop myself executing my plan. The Samaritans communicated with me over the course of several days, my GP sent me away with a flea in my ear (because I was previously diagnosed with a borderline personality i am often labelled an attention seeker and this is the same reason I have been turned away from emergency departments unless I have taken steps to hurt myself slready) and I have read the mind pages many, many times. I even spoke to a priest about how I was feeling, despite the fact I am an atheist. He was not helpful.

    I remain hopeful that someone will be able to provide an alternative perspective before my time runs out. 

  • Hi mate,

    All I can say is... I've been in that place several times myself.  Suffice it to say that I'm lucky to be here.  All of this was before I got my diagnosis.  Since getting it, nearly 3 years ago, my mental health has improved.  No longer do I feel the pressure of trying to do things that others take for granted, simply to fit in with them.  I no longer want to fit in with them.  I look at what they do and think I'd just prefer not to be like that. 

    It works for me, which isn't to say it will work for everyone.  I accept who I am now.  If others can't, that's their problem - not mine.

    Sorry I can't help any more than that.  It's just that it's the strategy that works for me.  Plus thinking that the only way I can find out if life can improve for me is to give it the chance to.

    Take care,

    Tom

  • I just want someone to understand that I don't want to be autistic any more

    I suspect a great many of us can relate to that. I know I can.

    My pre-assessment meeting made me feel like I wanted them to give me a lethal injection, though I don't suppose they ever would.

    Can I ask if you work or volunteer somewhere?

  • Hi there, it's sad to hear that you feel so shi* at the moment, but it's way better that you write about it than if you wouldn't. I can understand your issue with those services quite well, I've been wondering for a long time if other people do actually find them helpful. I suspect they do and it's like you say, we need something more specific/someone who can see things in the light of ASD. I know that at the place where I got diagnosed they did help people really quite quickly when there was urgent need for it (not with assessments but they did counselling and so on too). It's in Preston, so may not be anywhere near you, but perhaps they know something/someone similar in your area? Maybe send them an email (their website is this here: www.lancashireautism.org/, you need to use their form rather than sending it from your email account) and ask if they have any idea? It seems important to have some sort of emergency plan, but also something ongoing really. Unfortunately especially the second is not what they have much money for in the UK any longer (or never had). 

    I think you do get these responses from a real person, but they must be like Lego bricks they copy and paste. At least I suspect this is what the mods do here, their responses nearly always read the same. Now and then you stumble over a sentence that seems to stick out, that must be when they actually really write something just in response to this specific post. I find this rather upsetting even though it's not about an issue I have, so I assume it must be a lot worse when you are the person receiving this response, you lose yet more of your hope if you had any left. But then there are a lot of genuine and understanding responses from genuine people here, and they usually come quite quickly too. Maybe not in the middle of the night or so, but generally it doesn't take long until someone picks up on it. So maybe give it a try and have a chat with us? I mean, Samaritans are people of all sorts that had a little course in general listening and some information on where people could try to find help, they don't learn much (or anything) about ASD. So I'd think we are not really less qualified on here because we may not have done the course that probably teaches some useful things, but we know a thing or two about ASD. If you are about to "switch your brain off permanently" then I think you need to get in touch with some crisis team (definitely better than A&E or GP in that situation, so try to find out how to contact them 24/7, your GP will know about that) but perhaps if you aren't quite at that point it helps a bit to keep writing what's going on, or just about anything? Not so much to get a solution/proper strategy, but at least to make you feel a bit less alone to help you a bit to get through the next hours and days until you feel a little better.

    Take care and keep in touch if it helps at all (or if it just doesn't make you feel worse)!