What was your epiphany? how did you know/think you were ASD?

What does NT stand for?

A year ago, I knew almost nothing about autism.  Except the claim that it was caused by the MMR vaccine. 

After my latest suicide attempt in Nov 2016, a mental health team got involved and they with my sister suspected that I might be autistic. They started talking about aspergers and I thought rubbish,  I don't walk around shouting abuse at people.  I mistook aspergers for touretts syndrome. 

My sister suggested that a formal autism diagnosis would give me some protection under the 2011 disability act.  And she said that she worked alongside people with an autism diagnosis,  and I was worse than them.

Still crying over this. How can I be nearly 50 and only just realised this is what I am? My Instsgram account to promote my art was what pushed me over the edge. The more successful it was the more I couldn't cope with it, i searched communication failure and it led me to blogs and here. Aģgggghhhh.

It was mentioned on the dating thread that this site is like being in a mirror at times..but we all have our own unique journey 

Plenty of stories between us for up and down. Interesting hearing about each other’s realisation. 

Hi Bonnie

maybe we should produce a guide to other women...or a board game...Aspie women snakes and ladders...

up the Laura James and down the diagnosis snake xx

It’s always sort of been there, but I started to think seriously about the possibility when I read ‘Odd girl out’ by Laura James, followed by Cynthia Kim’s ‘Nerdy, shy and socially inappropriate’.  I then had a couple of friends independently suggest that I was on the spectrum (including one who diagnosises children!): I then asked a group of very close friends and they also had their suspicions.  It was when my lovely mother in law said something about my niece (who is diagnosed) and I just thought “doesn’t everyone do that?!that I realised that it might be worth pursuing.

Grrr indeed...it is all NT mind tricks! :) 

no probs subtlety not really my thing LOL! 

I was hoping I was going to be informed of my diagnosis on my final interview 6 weeks ago but I was told I'd have to wait another 4-6 weeks. Bearing mind I like many aspies suffer from anxiety thats pretty a crummy way of going about this IMHO. Something as life changing should be told to you face to face not coldly via a letter which could arrive at some undetermined time....grrr!

Thanks for the visual....lol......but it is scary x

will do!... everyday it gets more imminent, I'm bricking it every time the postie arrives! 

For most of us it seems a history of personal self-enquiry, the left over jigsaw piece in the box.....  Let us know how you get on with your diagnostic results.  x

I'm in my early fifties now but back in 1991 when I was a techie in TV production at a local university I had my first eye opener. We'd been commissioned to make a short self help video for people who were waiting to be assessed for autism as services were limited and stretched and there was a long wait. These were people who were quite a way along the spectrum but never the less as I sat there doing the sound listening to their stories I saw quite a few parallels with myself but my symptoms were milder, so dismissed it... but the thought was always there in the back of my head.

Fast forward to about 5 or 6 years ago when my eldest lad was having difficulties at school and especially with homework. I started looking at dyslexia and dyspraxia symptoms on the internet and somehow found myself reading up on Aspergers as there seemed to be links. The more I read the more I recognised myself. Since then its been a slow accumulation of knowledge plus some difficult times personally that lead me to realise I need to get a diagnosis. Hopefully that should arrive within the next few weeks.

I’m on the island too. Usual story of all the signs with no explanation and no awareness until a colleague asked me if I had Dcd/dyspraxia.. my research and epiphany began! I first had the Dcd diagnosis ( mentioning adhd and social issues). That didn’t quite answer my questions. Then I had a formal adhd diagnosis with asd traits but I wasn’t satisfied with that either. Then  a specialist in women and girls diagnosed me last year. So it’s taken a while to come together and still adjusting and learning. 

Hello you...welcome to the island x

I have not yet been formally diagnosed as I have only recently connected the dots of all the difficulties I have had throughout my life. But, I would say the epiphany came when I split from my partner a few months ago.

The relationship collapsed due to to my behaviour and how I would struggle with supposedly simple tasks and it just put too much strain on the relationship as she would essentially have to do so much as I either didn't know how or didn't do things in a "normal" way that ended up causing problems.

There were some hints shortly before this, as one of her daughters is on the spectrum and we were like two peas in a pod in the way we would deal with certain situations, although at the time I think I was in denial as I had tried so hard to be "normal", which ironically made my behaviours more apparent and difficult to live with. Also, both my ex and a previous ex had asked or thought I may be on the spectrum although again at the time I believe I was in denial.

It was only after the relationship ended that I opened my eyes to the possibility that it was something more than just anxiety or depression (things I have and do at times suffer from) that made me feel so different to everyone else. So, I began to explore various avenues before finally realising I am on the spectrum as so much fits with how I feel and how I behave.

Just been diagnosed, at last in my diagnosis I have a home for my identity

And I need a home as its been a much travelled road 

What kicked me into it was reading on the internet parallels to me in strangers, it was a revelation

It was a slow realisation for me, brought on by hearing about it on tv, doing some research online, reading books etc. I found the topic interesting for its own sake but the more i read the more i figured it applied to me. My family had been 'joking' for years that if i was on the Spectrum it would explain a lot, so i think they knew before i did! I'm sticking with self-diagnosed for now though.

I was referred for counseling and had two assessment sessions with the counselor but at the end of the second session she declined to offer me more counseling because she thought I was autistic. I sought a diagnosis as much as anything to prove the counselor wrong but I was diagnosed with ASD, specifically Asperger's, in December 2015 so maybe she was correct although if she was I still think it was for invalid reasons.

there is nothing wrong with wanting certainty in an uncertain world.