Am I autistic enough

If you have your diagnosis report, imagine this was for someone else. If you read it what would you think?

I don't think I am autistic enough, but if you read my report you'd have little doubt.

I can see other people struggle but can't see issues with myself, or I justify them. I minimise my struggles, because I always have. I have developed skills to avoid problems and hide things.

It is strange that you don't see it in yourself but can see it in others, I don't really understand this about myself. I also wondered if I fooled the assessors, I have even asked them a few days ago. But  I know what they are going to say.

I assume it is part of the acceptance process.

Stuart333 said:

I can see other people struggle but can't see issues with myself, or I justify them. I minimise my struggles, because I always have. I have developed skills to avoid problems and hide things.

This is whats confusing me the most, I can always see the traits in others and spend my whole time reassuring and supporting autistic people with their needs but when I look in the mirror I just dont see them in myself. 

Like I must have been masking for my whole life but how do you even start to take that off? Am I in denial or have I just built up such a bit wall

You might have to spend some time (months, at least) consciously observing yourself and carrying out little A/B experiments, then you'll see. You'll eventually begin to tune into your Autistic self and just know when you've found your stressors.

My personal go-to example is grocery shopping with and without headphones. I never really noticed the noise before, or never thought it was the cause of my stress, but now it's night and day with the headphones on and off. I no longer unconsciously brace myself before going in, so I really feel keenly now what was previously some vague sense of something being wrong.

You might have to spend some time (months, at least) consciously observing yourself and carrying out little A/B experiments, then you'll see. You'll eventually begin to tune into your Autistic self and just know when you've found your stressors.

My personal go-to example is grocery shopping with and without headphones. I never really noticed the noise before, or never thought it was the cause of my stress, but now it's night and day with the headphones on and off. I no longer unconsciously brace myself before going in, so I really feel keenly now what was previously some vague sense of something being wrong.

996 turbo. For a few years I had money by working excessively. Burnt me out, chronic stress caused problems and I see various issues with hindsight. The car became an obsessive focus that I could not let go of. In a way I wish I had not bought it. It was the only status thing I've allowed myself. I should've spent more on having somewhere nice to live, but I was struggling. I could only work, I didn't have capacity for thinking or doing much else. I thought I was doing ok and the future would never come. The years just drifted by.

It is a bit of a distraction though.

The point was hat sensory stimuli can create stress, as someone else mentioned, without you really realising.

Sorry to jump in, I still work on a couple of Imprezas, they are only around 350 bhp and scary, what was you driving at 600 bhp? 
I still drive classic cars, you really have to drive them, no power steering, no power brakes or independent suspension, after a long drive I am totally worn out. My daily car has basically stop and go pedals, all I really do is steer it, The difference in stress and physical exertion is massive.

One of the things I have been surprised about is my car.

I had a modified sports car which was fast, noisy, hard work to drive etc. that I drove every day for 21 years.

I changed it 2 months ago for something sensible, slow, quiet, hybrid, normal, cheaper.

I am less stressed and more relaxed. The change was almost immediate.

I miss the car, but I had not realised the strain it was placing on me.