Challenge of getting a diagnosis for my daughter when she masks so well when she is not at home...

Hi all, seeking advice please, particularly from UK based parents/carers perhaps going through a similar process. For those of you with undiagnosed autistic children, especially daughters, who mask so well at school yet all the behaviours are present at home, have you managed to receive a diagnosis? Even pursuing a private assessment is proving difficult as school say there are no difficulties/differences present and assessment requires behaviours observed in multiple settings. I feel like we are just going round in circles and fighting a losing battle. I'm seeking a diagnosis for my daughter so she can hopefully understand herself better. I have researched a lot about autism in girls and women and so many accounts of women getting diagnosed later in life state how they wish they had been diagnosed sooner, as it would have helped them to know why they found certain things in life difficult or why they experienced certain things differently. Thanks in advance.

Parents
  • My daughter in her 20s and will be seeking assessment hopefully this summer.  She's in final year at Uni so focusing on her exams at mo.  She was completely missed by school and us, she didn't draw any attention to herself throughout school which I understand is common.  Likewise at home, she seemed to be largely coping, had a number of good friends, and threw herself at her studies/exams,  she had weekend jobs in shops and volunteered too, so nothing to raise concern. The only time an issue was raised was during lockdown and she got diagnosed with Anxiety after her A levels exams (which she was primed to ace) were taken away from her year.

    It's only been since I disclosed my late diagnosis two months ago that she asked about the online tests I did (Embrace Autism Tests) and scored high herself.  In the meantime I have shared a You-Tube channel  which hopefully she can start to find out more.

    My son is ND and support at school for him was pretty patchy, even after his diagnosis in Primary school,  but he's done better since going to college at 16, getting an apprenticeship and now has a good full-time job. 

    So think you've done well to spot the signs - and wish your daughter well on getting the assessment and thereafter the support she may need. 

Reply
  • My daughter in her 20s and will be seeking assessment hopefully this summer.  She's in final year at Uni so focusing on her exams at mo.  She was completely missed by school and us, she didn't draw any attention to herself throughout school which I understand is common.  Likewise at home, she seemed to be largely coping, had a number of good friends, and threw herself at her studies/exams,  she had weekend jobs in shops and volunteered too, so nothing to raise concern. The only time an issue was raised was during lockdown and she got diagnosed with Anxiety after her A levels exams (which she was primed to ace) were taken away from her year.

    It's only been since I disclosed my late diagnosis two months ago that she asked about the online tests I did (Embrace Autism Tests) and scored high herself.  In the meantime I have shared a You-Tube channel  which hopefully she can start to find out more.

    My son is ND and support at school for him was pretty patchy, even after his diagnosis in Primary school,  but he's done better since going to college at 16, getting an apprenticeship and now has a good full-time job. 

    So think you've done well to spot the signs - and wish your daughter well on getting the assessment and thereafter the support she may need. 

Children
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