What is it like for you making friends

Congrats on your diagnosis BTW. Welcome to the forum!

Abysmal is what it's like! !

I love people but scared senseless off them too. It must come across because I feel like people don't want to be around me lol.

Practically non existent. I have never been good at making friends, I was terrible at it when I was a kid and I'm still terrible at it now and I'm nearly 30!

When I try to make friends, and fail, it's just a blunt reminder that I'm no good at it.

Congratulations on your diagnosis.

Maybe try to connect with people who share some of your interest, I guess that would feel like less pressure and give you something to talk about. 

I have one person I can call a friend. We don’t do social things like go out to places but I do go round to his mostly for a cup of tea and we talk. He is adhd and bipolar. Although we are very different he understands me and I understand him. I have many acquaintances and as awful as this sounds I don’t consider them to be friends, I don’t maintain those relationships and they have stopped asking me to do things as I refused so much in the past . The problem I find is that I expect too much from them as a person, most I know are quite selfish and shallow. A friend for me should be kind, easy to be with and have a strong sense of justice, unfortunately these are rare qualities. 
I am not a fan of going out and socialising anyway as it’s too costly but I hope one day I could perhaps find a friend who shares some of my interests. 

When I was last assessed for my mental health, I explained how bad my social anxiety is. He suggested I joined a social group. I was like sorry, what? What part of top anxious to walk into a room of people made you think I'd be capable of joining a social group. He then went on to talk about ASC social groups and how there'd be less social pressure. I'm there like how did you make that leap. Why would I not feel social pressure because everyone else was also autistic? I then explained that the ASC groups in my area are all during my working hours and set up for people with high support needs. He still wrote it in the assessment report .

I struggle with feeling lonely and isolated but I absolutely know what you mean be feeling loneliest when surrounded by people.

Do you think we also give out some kind of vibe that makes us unapproachable or unfriendly? Is it where pwrhaps we are trying too hard to make friends ??

I don't particularly. Sometimes, I will make a friend but it doesn't last which puts me off even trying. It does get me down some times.

I wish professionals would understand that just because a group has a social or autism label, it doesn't mean we can just turn up and have a sudden ability to make friends. It just doesn't work that way.

Hi emmy2654, I struggle to make friends and maintain them really. I don't think I ever had anyone I would consider a close friend where I could share more personal things. I don't tend to go out to any kind of social setting really where I could potentially meet people, I find these kind of things very difficult and draining. I've maybe got one person who could be considered a friend but I would not describe them as very close. Most of the time I am quite happy with my own company. 

Groups! Why do people assume that everybody who has problems making friends, who has ASC, etc needs to go to a group? Is there some part of being uncomfortable in crowded places they don't understand, that groups can be very age specific? That just because you have ASC you're going to instantly get on with every other ASC person in the world?

Sorry, not very helpful I know, I've given up on having friends, when I think of what I put in compared to what I get back, it dosen't add up in a good way, I still feel isolated, far ore so than I do when I'm on my own, the loneliest times in my life have been when I've been surrounded by people.

I have a small friendship group probably comprised of 5 people at most and I do have really good acquaintances but I'm completely fine with that. I too have always struggled making friends ever since I was a child. Half of it is do with the fact that I struggle massively with social anxiety like the idea of being forced into a situation where I have to converse with stranger causes me panic attacks. I think I managed to be within my friendship group is that I met them through volunteer work and it was them who made the first move to include me which I am very grateful for but I can never be the one to start a conversation with someone new. Anyways, my point is I totally understand how difficult it can be

I find making friends so difficult. At school I was envious of other kids because they had friends and I hated myself because I was lonely and seemed incapable of making friends, I even looked it up on the internet how to make friends, and I still couldn’t do it.
Like crazycatlady I find making friends online a lot easier.

I would still love a friend but I’m too anxious and I’m socially useless.

Feels like my life will be completely lonely when my family are gone.

Short answer is "I don't" and I feel like the worst friend/person in the universe... I find it a lot easier having online friends or people who live far away and I don't have the worry of having to see them if that makes sense? As soon as someone suggests meeting, my head goes and my anxiety takes centre stage. I feel like I'm just better on my own

What is it like for me making friends? One word - difficult. I completely understand about drama and problems, and getting worn out.

I'm retired now and I no longer feel I need to have friends to fit in. I don't see any family members either - just more drama and problems. I have my partner who is my best friend - that's enough for me.

What is the difference between friends and aqquatances. I also struggle to trust people how do I know there not just pretending to be my friend and turn on me later. How do I spot signs of them talking advantage of my personality. What if they make me feel like a bad friend if I can’t sort their problems out like a therapist which has happened in the past and it completely drained me.