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What is it like for you making friends

emmy2654

I was officially diagnosed with level 2 autism about three days ago. when they called to talk about the results they gave my parents ideas about going out and different groups to make friends. However I have trouble making friends and keeping them I only have one friend at the moment and that’s all I feel I can manage. I feel if I had more it would just cause me stress and physically and mentally wear me out as that has happened in the past. I feel like if I had more than one friend it would cause a lot of drama and problems that I couldn’t handle. How do you all manage to make friends and handle more than one friend without getting tired and mentally and physically worn out.  

Parents

  • I have a small friendship group probably comprised of 5 people at most and I do have really good acquaintances but I'm completely fine with that. I too have always struggled making friends ever since I was a child. Half of it is do with the fact that I struggle massively with social anxiety like the idea of being forced into a situation where I have to converse with stranger causes me panic attacks. I think I managed to be within my friendship group is that I met them through volunteer work and it was them who made the first move to include me which I am very grateful for but I can never be the one to start a conversation with someone new. Anyways, my point is I totally understand how difficult it can be

  • in reply to WitchyPrincess06

    Groups! Why do people assume that everybody who has problems making friends, who has ASC, etc needs to go to a group? Is there some part of being uncomfortable in crowded places they don't understand, that groups can be very age specific? That just because you have ASC you're going to instantly get on with every other ASC person in the world?

    Sorry, not very helpful I know, I've given up on having friends, when I think of what I put in compared to what I get back, it dosen't add up in a good way, I still feel isolated, far ore so than I do when I'm on my own, the loneliest times in my life have been when I've been surrounded by people.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    When I was last assessed for my mental health, I explained how bad my social anxiety is. He suggested I joined a social group. I was like sorry, what? What part of top anxious to walk into a room of people made you think I'd be capable of joining a social group. He then went on to talk about ASC social groups and how there'd be less social pressure. I'm there like how did you make that leap. Why would I not feel social pressure because everyone else was also autistic? I then explained that the ASC groups in my area are all during my working hours and set up for people with high support needs. He still wrote it in the assessment report Face palm.

    I struggle with feeling lonely and isolated but I absolutely know what you mean be feeling loneliest when surrounded by people.

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    When I was last assessed for my mental health, I explained how bad my social anxiety is. He suggested I joined a social group. I was like sorry, what? What part of top anxious to walk into a room of people made you think I'd be capable of joining a social group. He then went on to talk about ASC social groups and how there'd be less social pressure. I'm there like how did you make that leap. Why would I not feel social pressure because everyone else was also autistic? I then explained that the ASC groups in my area are all during my working hours and set up for people with high support needs. He still wrote it in the assessment report Face palm.

    I struggle with feeling lonely and isolated but I absolutely know what you mean be feeling loneliest when surrounded by people.

Children
  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    I think a lot of people don't think, they don't think that groups offering help for those with high needs are going to be totally inappropriate for you and that they may not even accept you, I had this when I enquired about a group run by MIND, it was only for teenagers, I needed help and support from somewhere more age appropriate like AGE UK, only AGE UK is really Age England, there's an Age Wales and an Age Gwynedd and they'd never heard of older people with ASC, so they're no help at all.

    I don't think a lot of professionals understand the need for alone time either, they call it self isolating, we call it time to not have to engage with others. When you spend time in the alternative medicine and spiritual worlds that I have been involved in, being able to spend time alone and be comfortable with yourself is valued, it's seen as very much a positive thing, that you don't need to drown out your own thoughts with distractions from the outside world and can take the time to recharge your inner batteries. I wonder what it is that makes so many NT's afraid of people who are happy in their own company?