Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter (16) has Autism and had her first day at college today.... it did not go well! She struggled with the structure, the content, the people and the bus ride :-( She wants to change college... Do I help her to look at her other college options or encourage her to give it time and not quit and continue to liaise with her key worker? Any advice from parents or young adults appreciated.
There is a lot packed into that short paragraph.
The answer is not a simple yes or no. It depends on the situation, of course. If something occurred on her first day that was unforgivable, then maybe changing college is a good option. If it was a normal day, maybe one day is not enough to truly judge it.
Not knowing the full details, not really needing to, I will suggest giving it a few days. That being said, taking one overwhelming day and adding another is not going to make anything better.
Are there options for transportation? Maybe not doing the bus ride will make the difference. Will a different college have a different structure? If not, then changing schools will not change that aspect. Is she being bullied? Are there structures in place to help and fight against the bullying? Is it just normal people not understanding and it's ok?
I know it isn't a straightforward answer, but it's something to think about. Typically, these things are not black and white, and we autistics tend to think in black and white.
Also remember to not invalidate her feelings in all of this either. The short list you have is a lot of change all at once. This cannot be easy to handle emotionally, on top of dealing with school and social situations. Maybe talking to her about this will help, identifying the feelings and where they are coming from.
Thank you, good advice and your feedback is appreciated. We have had a chat which is when she said she wished she gone for another course (her second choice). I have advised give it a few days and acknowledged her first day was (and was always going to be) hard.