Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey! My 13 year old daughter is in the process of autism diagnosis and I’m really concerned about her risk taking behaviour. She has become friends with a group who regularly drink vodka in the park and she tells me that she doesn’t like the feel of being drunk but doesn’t want to lose her friends or become ostracised. We set very definite boundaries with her and she currently is not allowed out with these friends but we can not keep her from going out forever, and I know that the minute she’s allowed out again, she will continue with these behaviours. She has absolutely no comprehension of danger or risk management!
Does anyone have any advice or has experienced something similar?
TIA
Lucy x
Hi, I was in a similar situation at some point, in fact I was older than your daughter when I started behaving recklessly, it was for sure part of my masking. I always felt like I’m in the backseat, like a bit disabled or something. I always wanted to be a part of a peer group. Especially when young. You can maybe talk to her and try to find out if she is afraid of being bullied (very much possible, as many autistic people get bullied for being the loner and weirdo) maybe she was being shamed for not having friends (my case) my step dad encouraged me to drink alcohol to make me more “normal” although I hate smell and taste of any alcohol, I was very much ashamed that there is something wrong with me. Maybe there is someone in family or her environment who is manipulating her this way? Maybe she fell in love with someone from that group? Maybe she just needs help recognizing her own emotions, maybe she needs to be heard. Setting boundaries is good, young people should know what’s good and bad, but maybe this step is not enough. I think it’s also a good idea to consult a psychologist. Sorry for late response, you posted 2 days ago, but I needed time to think about it. I hope my answer somehow helps.