Perimenopause revealing my neurodiversity

Thank you so so much everyone that has replied. I really appreciate your words of wisdom & kindness. More again soon (I’ve never really been comfortable with public postings - less so now - so am judicious with my engagement). Enjoy the sunshine (if you have any)

Susan Weed's "Wise Womyn ways: the Menopausal years" is very comprehensive on this with lots of measures that a wise womyn can take. I got me through. I made mine a special interest, the chemistry and physics of hormonal triggers in th brain, the changes to the brain. I had fun with it.

Hi Ruby, 

I hear you and I feel for you...

And in good autistic manner, sorry in advance: As a high functioning female who can hold down a job you won't be finding a lot of support out there from the NHS or the government to help with your autism or / and ADHD. 

Menopause is one day in your life, 365 days after your last period or so. Besides the passing of time and getting older, I cannot wait for that day to come! 

And indeed perimenopausal symptoms are leading many woman in their 40s and 50s to realise they are neurodivergent. 

If you google autism women perimenopause, you should find quite a number of useful resources. 

There isn't a lot out there specifically designed for perimenopausal autistic women struggling with the hormonal changes, however a good starting point is to consider and implement the suggestions made around diet and lifestyle. Which means reconsider they way you eat and also exercise, the need for more sleep (apparently women need about 9 - 10 hours sleep in general, data was based on men only...) and also starting to take HRT. HRT does not cause cancer and is actually helping to prevent osteoporosis and other health conditions. Do some research into HRT, look for resources from the last couple of years only. If your GP does not want to prescribe you HRT, give them the hard facts and make an appointment with another GP. Also seek a referal for counselling, including what is available through your work. You can find on the National Autistic Society website a list of counsellors and other services. The chances for you being referred to a counsellor that is actually specialised in neurodivergent women are slim. Really just take what you can get to help you stabilise a bit. I have found that focussing on an anti inflammatory diet and hormone balancing recipes, exercising and leaving that bottle of wine or whatever your poison is on the shop shelf really helps.

I am afraid to say, that it might be tricky to get any support for autism from the government or the NHS, however it is worth persuing. It will be quite overwhelming, but you can find a lot of information on the NAS website, but also youtube, tictok and podcasts. If you cannot find any information on here, google autism support group and then your city or area, you might be even in luck and find a women only group. There are also women only groups for neurodivergent females online, you can find them on Facebook and Meetup. There are groups for 40+ women and late diagnosed specifically as well. 

However, I really, really recommend starting with getting up to speed with the hormonal stuff first. 

There is a great podcast run by ZOE, which is a form of diet app. However, they do not really peddle the app and the subscription on the podcast. I suggest you start listening to the episodes on female hormones and perimenopause and then look into the women they interview in more detail. One of them is Dr Louise Newson, a british GP. Another doctor, but in the US is Dr Sarah Gottfried. However you need to keep in mind that she is in the US and you will hear quite a bit about supplements. There is also Dr. Mary Claire Haver, she has developed a diet, the Galvestone diet, which is aimed at perimenopausal women. 

Bear in mind these suggestions do not specifically consider autistic women.

Many companies are starting to be aware and supportive to their female employees going through perimenopause, please explore that too. No need to start talking about your suspicion that you are autistic or neurodivergent in general if you feel that might impact you negatively. However, there might also be an employee support group for that. It really depends on the organisation. 

I really hope this is going to help you to get started. You can always post here, but in the end you need to do your research, find a support group ideally, and be kind to yourself <3

You might find more things by starting with ADHD, although it’s still quite limited, but I’ve seen a few people write about their experiences of ADHD & menopause but not of autism & menopause.

Are you sure it's perimenopause and not the real thing? I found perimenopause far harder to deal with than the menopause itself. My best advice would be to go and see a medical herbalist who can make you up a mixture tailored exactly to your specific needs, I did and I was amazed at all the niggles that weren't niggling anymore as well as perimenopause symptoms. There's lots of options that aren't hormonal for dealing with perimenopause and menopause, but you may have to look quite hard and do a bit of trial and error to find what works best for you.

Unfortunately we're the pioneer generation when it comes to menopause, there's not a lot of information out there, because nobodies done the research. Speaking with other women and women on here will help you feel supported. I believe there are some studies being done at a big hospital in London on the effects of menopause on autistic women.

true indeed.

Just a quick reply as I need to cook dinner - but just to say that I think a lot of women find that the menopause ‘pushes them’ into recognising their neurodiversity. This happened with me (although I’d long had my suspicions as both my sons were diagnosed as autistic). I’ve noticed so many women on this forum who were diagnosed in their early to mid fifties. My feeling is that it’s never too late to have a better understanding of who we are - so that we can try to live our lives in a way that actually makes us happy.