Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’m going to try and keep this short.
I recently had an assessment with Psychiatry UK where I was basically told I don’t struggle enough to have a diagnosis even though I do have autistic traits.
I have felt different my whole life and just cannot accept this as an answer. I am a woman in my early 20’s and I am aware of the fact that often women go undiagnosed because of outdated concepts as well as masking.
Has anyone else been in my situation before? And if so, how did you eventually get your diagnosis?
Thank you in advance, I’m feeling lost.
Being “high functioning” and high masking gives the big risk of falling in cracks. You may be autistic (because this is the structure of the brain, you are not only periodically autistic- when you suffer the most) so this is the sad thing that you are not suffering enough to get diagnosis, you are too “normal” or at least you seem that way if you can pass as NT, but you are not “normal” enough to fit in and just live your life like everyone else. I’m not even going for diagnosis, for few reasons, but currently I know that I’m so well, I wouldn’t get one. I have a job, which I like, I have one friend and family. So yes, I’m lucky and comparing to many other autistic people who are alone I’m really well. Currently. But I used to suffer a lot. I think you can try with a private clinic. For me getting diagnosis is not a priority, because the knowledge and awareness and this site help me enough. Unlike the mental health professionals who gave me mostly negative experience such as gaslighting, wrong diagnoses, awful meds that didn’t help etc. I myself figured out what suits me best, I discover myself and it’s interesting journey, with help of this forum I found the emotional wheel which helps me a lot too. All that without official diagnosis, I just concentrate on growing, developing and finding solutions for myself regardless of psychiatrist’s opinion. Once I heard that I have many autistic traits but I’m married so I’m not really autistic. Other time I heard that it’s not a problem I don’t have any friends close to where I live (my only friend lives in other country).
I spoke to my gp who recommended counselling for accepting myself and to help with my struggles.
She told me that I don’t need the label and that if I have autistic traits then I do and that’s what makes me who I am.
I think it was just hard for me to accept because I know that I do not function like a neurotypical person and I just wanted to have that validation almost to prove it to myself and others. So I’m hoping that counselling will help me to accept myself and not care what other people think of me or say about me. I’m also hoping that it will actually help me cope with the things I do struggle with.