Published on 12, July, 2020
This one is an unusual one for me personally. All my life I have loved make up. Yes there has been negative aspects of me wearing it because I've either subconsciously tried to fit in with society or felt naked if I don't wear it and then that has caused me extreme distress. I've been wearing make up every day no matter what since the age of 13 (even if I didn't go out). But now I find myself in a strange sense of territory. I hate makeup, not the look, I love bold in your face coloured lipsticks with jet black eye shadows and thick black eye liner circling my eyes. However in the last year I have found I hate wearing makeup. The very feel on my face makes me feel like I am being suffocated, the desire to get it off my face immediately when I can. I love the feeling of being outside and the rain can touch my skin, I can rub my eyes in the sun, wipe the sweat off my head and not worry because I have makeup on. It's like my whole sensory experience has changed recently.
I feel me when I wear it, but I feel free when I don't. I was identified as Autistic late last year at 36 so wondering whether this is all part of subconsciously demasking. It's all strange though because makeup never made me feel suffocated before and now I just cannot wait to get rid of it off my skin. Like I said, that free feeling I have is amazing and almost liberating.
Is it possible makeup is now my sensory hell, certainly feels like it.
These days everybody says “be yourself” “express yourself” etc. so we happily do it :) and to be clear, not being fancy or looking like million dollars doesn’t mean you look bad. Even here in this forum someone replied to me (male) that I must look like homeless. Lol! No I don’t look like homeless! My sensory sensitivities make me feel highly irritated and cause me various ticks and also pains and general jittery. So even if I look like million dollars and I have ticks, I still hear comments “what’s wrong with you”! It’s also some kind of stereotype that beautiful woman must be tuned
Having sensitive skin I've never tried a tanning salon, I'm afraid I'd come out orange as I'm naturally very pale, so white, I'm almost blue!
I tried using a hair removing cream on my legs once and ended up with bright ginger leg hair! I've never bothered since and as I only wear trousers it's not an issue.
I'm wondering this too. I'm also finding I'm being more of myself and unapologetically so too since discovering I am autistic.
I like that end sentence and I agree.
For me it was always an issue but even subconsciously I tried my best to fit in, but I was always annoyed by the “stupid” make up, jewelry and clothes made of light fabric often with some frills or other decorative elements that brush my skin. I always hated them and I didn’t know why. Tan was absolutely intolerable for me, especially from the studio. I hated the smell of my own skin I literally wanted to get rid of my own skin. I didn’t know why I’m freaking out about things that others seem to be totally fine with. Now I know. So I tried once and never again even if I hear comments that I would look better if I tan, that I should take care more of myself. Well I take care of myself but I’m a way that for NTs makes no sense. So when I realized that make up and other annoying stuff do t actually help me to fit in and the problem is deeper in me, I just stopped. So I’m happily natural and I always say, if someone dislikes me this way, they are free to look somewhere else.
I've not worn them in 3 years. I stopped wearing them when I realised I just didn't need to - I'll carry a bumbag or something if I need to carry things.
This is really interesting and I can relate with other sensory sensitives. I am currently in the process of waiting for an assessment and I feel like what I can tolerate is reducing all the time. I feel I'm completely falling apart tbh compared to how I used to manage and it's absolutely terrifying. Is this all part of late diagnosis?
I think I'm thankful for the fact I don't go outside with a full on panic attack thinking everyone will be staring at me because I have no makeup on. Because I'm loving the free feeling I'm now getting. I've even gone outside with the odd acne breakout and not tried cover it up.
I completely get that one about the jeans, haven't worn them myself since I was about 19. Hated them, never really thought about why until just. I'm learning more about myself every day it seems.
I used to be okay with wearing jeans and buttoned shirts but not anymore.
Admittedly they also used to aggravate my eczema but they weren't all that comfortable anyway.
I don't think it's any accident that many women refer to putting "their face on" when they make thier faces up, we talk about a lot of faces, our game face etc, but rarely our real face, our naked selves. I think there is an element of masking in make-up, we hide behind it, smooth out our wrinkles enhance our eyes and lips and go even further with cosmetic procedures like botox and fillers.
I think you are finding a need to be your authentic self in the world, which I think can only be a good thing, although some others may disagree. On a wider scale who or what are we hiding from, why do we need these masks? Not just autistic people but women in general, because it is mostly women who wear make-up. I can't wear it because of allergies and some peoples reactions to me and my naked face have been quite strange, some praising me for my "natural beauty", others telling me the opposite and all points in between. I think it effects job interviews no make-up is seen as not caring about yourself and being underdressed and ultimately not the image the company wants to project.