Older women on the forum? Your early years?

It's an amazing privilege to be able to read your life's journey, considering that you've grown up hiding and masking yourself, and I really admire your courage to share what you've been through in your life.

I'm in my early 30s, but I feel like an old soul. I look and dress plainly, and I'd rather do introverted activities. 

I grew up abused, which was physical, mental, and emotional abuse, but not sexual abuse. I don't think that being abused creates a person who knows how to socially interact in a normal way, and although I had replayed social interactions in my mind countless times before, I've realized to not fault myself for not getting social interactions quite right, considering the people who raised me didn't have very good social skills either, and they're who I had to learn from. 

As a child, I cried almost everyday to the point that I got so fed up with wasting so much time, that I decided to learn a new skill and try to get better at it. Having something to focus has saved me so many times when I was in despair about the abuse and feeling trapped. But I'm very glad I chose to work on something everyday which gave me discipline, and that aided in my independence later on in life. Because no one abusive is going to teach you how to be independent and free. 

As an adult I got out of that situation, and I've had about a decade to recover from i., but recovering is still ongoing. I still enjoy picking up new skills and reading up on things. But right now, finances are tight,  so I can't afford to get all the supplies I need to do the things I want to do. But other than that life is a lot more peaceful than it used to be.  

Hullabaloo said:

Having something to focus has saved me so many times when I was in despair

Hullabaloo said:

But I'm very glad I chose to work on something everyday which gave me discipline, and that aided in my independence later on in life. Because no one abusive is going to teach you how to be independent and free. 

Copy all this, we taught ourselves to be independent of the expectations of others and found the "zone" where we could shine, even under a basket.

thanks for sharing.

Hi .  I am an older Autistic woman who is Widowed,have no family,and do not have any family living nearby.    I have lived in the ",Neurotypical  World," all my life, without any help at all. I am not yet ready for elderly care, for my brain is still capable of digesting new information! 

I would like to know why it is that  the experts seem to think that Autism gets more severe with Age?  

In my own case , I do not feel that this is the case at all, because,  I am still learning new things.,e.g using a computer comes to mind,even though, I do admit that Iam not completely Computer Saavey.!

Also,why is it, that people seem to think, that  Autistic people die earlier than Neurotypical people?  

The other thing that I would like to say, is why , also is it, that older people are supposed to find it harder to ,"Mask", than younger people?      

I would like to know if it could be possible for those of us,in the same position as myself, could get some support for being Widowed and Widowed?

Hi .  I am an older Autistic woman who is Widowed,have no family,and do not have any family living nearby.    I have lived in the ",Neurotypical  World," all my life, without any help at all. I am not yet ready for elderly care, for my brain is still capable of digesting new information! 

I would like to know why it is that  the experts seem to think that Autism gets more severe with Age?  

In my own case , I do not feel that this is the case at all, because,  I am still learning new things.,e.g using a computer comes to mind,even though, I do admit that Iam not completely Computer Saavey.!

Also,why is it, that people seem to think, that  Autistic people die earlier than Neurotypical people?  

The other thing that I would like to say, is why , also is it, that older people are supposed to find it harder to ,"Mask", than younger people?      

I would like to know if it could be possible for those of us,in the same position as myself, could get some support for being Widowed and Widowed?

Hi

I'm widowed like yourself - I'm quite sure (in my own case) that I'm now appearing more autistic because Im alone and don't have to fake being neurotypical all the time. It's not that I have less ability to mask, I just have less need to. That said - I still mask very heavily and most people who know me have no idea I'm autistic because I've chosen not to share it publicly yet as I'm still processing it.

I'm lucky to have a daughter who lives close by. It was her comments and probing that made me question how my brain works and led me to researching autism and eventually get a diagnosis. (That was after she was diagnosed at 40) Sometimes I feel like I've been a very poor parent because I didn't realise she was autistic. 

Support for autistic widows and widowers is an interesting one. Do you have any thoughts on what that support might be? 

Inula

My reading indicates it gets better as we age. We as post menopausal women ca express ourselves more freely as we age into "Autie-hood". We can be your family, your a home.

I think we find it harder to mask because we have less at stake. We do't have to make a living or struggle to fit in any more.- this is my theory o masking.

Maybe before, until the 90's AD peeps may have died earlier from broken hearts as they shouted into the maw of an NT black hole where no one understood them, - especially so forwomen, for whom some much was expected in the way of conformity.

Now the girls have it so much better! and the boys! I am over joyed by that.

I hope you can find some help with your widow status. You are a brave a valiant creature. You are enough as you are on your own!