21 year old struggling with interactions with work colleagues

ive been exactly the same, pushing through jobs where im so anxious and cannot communicate at all, that i get into a pattern of calling in sick and realising i cant go back and end up quitting. ive just started a new job 3 days ago and already feeling overwhelmed and unsure what to do

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. professional relationships are hard and I think, a lot of us go through a bit of a learning curve with it. Some people have given advice over on this thread - https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/31835/how-do-you-manage-professional-relationships 

You are not alone. But also, I want to note that it is very easy to blame yourself and your potential communication issues but sometimes your team and Collegues are just not your people and even neurotypical people can Struggle to bridge that gap.

For me, I always focused on the work element until I got more comfortable with the people. It sometimes led them to think I was too serious but polite and professional and that was ok for me. It's hard when you want to fit in, I know but it will come with time.

While i cant offer any help, i can certainly relate.

I'm confused by simple instructions in work all the time. But in reality, a lot of the time the simple instruction was simple, but it was said in an unclear way or when the person hadn't ensured I was paying attention. It's probably not you, it's the way the instruction was given. Because autism isn't a visible difference (my friends and family say I don't look autistic anyway.) people often misunderstand me when I don't understand an instruction. It's hugely frustrating, and used to make me feel useless at work. Things improved massively for me when I disclosed to my manager at work. 

As for the social aspect, I really sympathise. I've had jobs where I've got on very well with people, and others where I've completely failed to fit in, as you describe here. It's horrible when it's the latter.

If you are struggling, you can see if there is a fund at your place of study, I cant remember the exact name for it, but it is a fund where you can get help towards living costs, if you live at home with your parents then you would have to say you are independent from them. Or if you are renting then give them your proof of rent and costs.  There might be a hardship fund too. You can explain you are autistic and cannot do work and study. You sound like you should be on pip. I understand what you are going through, been through all this myself. 

I got so stressed and picked on, in time though you will be able to learn small talk but usually when you are older. Balancing work and study can lead to meltdowns. 

you would be maybe better trying for an office job, and training by doing an admin course when you leave college, and you could try to look into a quiet office job and see how that goes, you might be able to find one part time. Or if it is far too stressful then you might be an person who will not work, but will volunteer ever so often. or work for yourself. Is there perhaps a work from home job you could find? 

Of your place of study might have some student jobs that might suit you better. Lots of options for you. 

Try not to worry a lot of us have been through what you have been through. Sadly  some NTs have problems too, in that they cannot seem to be able to make us feel comfortable.

i also wanted to add this has been a pattern for me where i get a new job, put myself through a few weeks of distress trying to communicate with the others, and then get so upset that i can’t break through that barrier - that i end up calling off sick most days and end up leaving. So now i have had a few jobs where i’ve been there for only a month and it does feel really shameful and as if it hopeless.