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whats real /unreal to the world

teardrops

please i need some advice, does my 4 year old son now whats real and whats un real , in this world, has i was told that cartoons are real to them ,in their world, this is frighting, i dont even think he nows from day to day is, i was told autistic children like routine, i cannot get my son into one, dont no were to start, theirs no communication, ive tryed pec cards, i was told i need to get into my sons world, how do i do this, im still new to all this as my son was diagnoised last year, its still a big shock very hard to get my head around, i have read books , theirs so much to take in,

  • THANK YOU FOR THE ADVISE, IT IS ALL ABIT BEWILDING, AND ALOT TO TAKE IN AND LEARN , ITS ALOT TO TAKE IN, IT ALL GETS ABIT CONFUSING AT TIMES

  • autism is a big subject...lots to learn. Things sort of fall into place over time.I can remember feeling as bewildered as you. Find out as much as you can .......be selective ...find the best for you.....Very best wishes.

  • Try not to carry all of those burdens on yourself. I'm sure your an amazing parent. It might take your children a little while to fully understand that their brother is different, but I think that once they do, they will not feel pushed out. They will understand that you are trying your best to be there for all of them. And I think it's a good idea to continue to try to get your other children to help out with their brother. It might seem useless now because he keeps pushing them away, but I think once he gets use to it, he will want them around as much as he wants you around. Right now, your the only one he feels connected too. But if you continue to let the other children do things for him, even if in a small way, I think he'll start to feel more connected with them as well. 

  • i do try and get them to help me with their brother at times their brother will not accept their help just wants me, i feel guilty they most probabley feel pushed out, i dont want that in any way, i do keep reminding them of their brothers needs, i just hope they understand, i do feel at times they feel pushed out, as they need my attention as well,

  • When I went through my teenager years, I think I might have felt a little pushed out, but that was just me being a teenager. Honestly, I have helped my parents take care of my brother. I gave up doing things after school so I could babysit while they worked. During the summers I stayed home till 4 maybe 5 before I did anything because my brother couldnt be home alone. I never felt like my parents didnt love me or like they gave my brother more attention. I know that he needed it more than me. I am the person I am today because of him. I had to grow up fast and I'm glad I did because a lot of people my age still haven't figured out what there purpose in life is. My mother and I have an amazing relationship and my dad and I become closer everyday. So, no I don't feel like my parents didnt give me enough attention. I think they did wonderfully as parents by making me feel loved and included. Even when my brother needed more attention they found ways of including me in everything. 

  • thank you for your understanding, can i ask did you feel pushed out at times, when your mum was seeing to your brother, the reason i ask, is that i have 4 other children with learning difficultys, its so hard to give them all attention, when my son demanding, i have explained about their brothers needs they understand, i feel guilty with not giving them enough attention,

  • I know that must seem really different right now. But hang in there and just be patient with him. They learn at there own pace and sometimes it takes a lot of effort on your part. My only advice would be to look up some things online and just pick one things you think would help you connect with him the best. Once you start doing that, just stick with it and I think that eventually he'll understand. 

  • no thank you so much its nice to no theirs people out their that understand, instead of holding it all in in silance, i have read lots of books on autisum, theirs so much to take in, its all abit confusing at times, like my son, theirs concerns at the moment that hes loosing his skills, its such aworry as they told me that ive got to try and get into his world, but how,

  • It was my pleasure. I'm glad that it helped. I'll be praying for you and your son. 

    =) 

  • thank you so much for your blog, your message was very reassuring to me, you have put a smile on my face, my son only plays with thomas the tank eninge, its very hard all he does all day is line up his trains, i do try and get his desraction by playing with a differnt toy, he dosent have any of it, hes my world, even though he dosent speak, when he smiles it pulls on my heart strings, i no that he isent at the age of a 4 year old, has the reports says hes at a mental age of a 6mth old, i do use single words to him, hoping that he will pick it up , fingers crossed, thank you so much for taking the time to email me, to let me no, i cannot thank you enough,

  • It must be hard as a parent to find out your child has Autism. My brother has Autism and he is now 17 years old. I don't know if I can really help you much from my experience. All I know is that children with Autism are just like everyone else. There really not much different. You have to explain things to them in more detail sometimes. Also, you have to get onto their level by talking about things you know they like. If your son likes cartoons, then maybe you can find a way to explain certain things to him by relating them back to cartoons. As far as if he knows whats real and whats not real. I think he does. However, being only 4, he is still a child and most children have a hard time understanding whats real and what isn't. It's important to have patience because they learn at a completely different pace then we do. I'm sure that this is still shocking and I'm sorry if I wasn't much help. My mother married at 17 and my brother was born when she was only 20 years old. I've seen her struggle with it, but she's a great mother and has learned good ways to communincate with him. I know you'll do the same. He is your son and no matter what, with time you will find ways to help him.