advice needed on R.E studies in school

My first reaction when I read Clovis' post was to wonder if it was her prerogative to specify what exactly the thread was about. Generally it is a good idea to let the original poster (OP) make that judgement. On second thoughts I did think that Clovis was onto something and I used that as a trigger to my own thoughts. I didn't mean to side with anyone and fuel an argument!

The original post includes a reference to "the child making himself sick" and I think it is that issue that is the root cause of the problem. It is a consequence of that fact that lead the parent to not want their child attending.

It is common in this forum for people to over-react and mis-read people's intentions - there is a reason for that! In general, it is a very good idea to think twice and write one and to struggle to see what is in someone elses mind before reacting.

My answer has been responding to the original post, which stated

"they planned church/chapel visits which we didnt want my son attending"

This implied it wasn't the child objecting, but implied that it was the parents objecting to the church visit. 

**my supposition about why the child is so upset** The child then understandably got upset when confronted by a teacher who clearly didn't realise that the child had been led to believe by his parents that he wasn't going on the trip. The child is now worried that the same situation will play out (i.e. that what he expects to happen will be challenged by people in positions of power, and therefore there is a huge amount of "unexpectedness" about it - a trigger for almost everyone with autism). I would react the same was as the child - even if I knew I could cope fine with being in a church (due to sensory elements etc) I would be extremely anxious because I wouldn't know for sure if I was going to be going or not (I'd have my parents telling me I wasn't, but know that sometimes when my parents tell me I'm not going, people try to make me anyway). 

This would be my supposition. Of course, it would be best to talk to the child about it, but it mainly seems like this is the result of poor communication between the parents and the school, which has impacted on the child in terms of his understanding of what routines happen around school visits.

As I said before, if it's a sensory/emotional thing, that's a different matter. 

Clovis is right to draw attention to the impact that this situation is having on the child.

There is a deeper question here about why this child has such an aversion. The root of that aversion needs to be understood and then dealt with. He may be upset by the crowds and noise or he may be upset at the ideas involved which conflict with his own principles or those of his family. He may not be able to reconcile the very contradictory signals he is getting from school and family about religion. This might be an opportunity to try and explain how it is OK for different people to have completely opposite views. It may be that he can't cope with the contradictions and he probably needs help with coming to terms with ambiguities like this as it is perhaps not ideal just to avoid situations rather than tackle them with greater understanding. He may be reacting to the force being used to make him do something that he does not want to do. If he keeps being forced to do things he does not like or cope with then he may end up going down the path of pathological demand avoidance or oppositional defiance.

The key to making progress is to really understand it from the child's point of view.

I don't feel I missed the point: I provided the legal background for the situation, and directed the parent to legislation which gave her the information to back up her case to the school. 

If she feels the school are discriminating against her child or not handling the case correctly, she should make a complaint to the Governing Body of the school in writing and follow the schools' complaints policy. 

I merely pointed out that if this was for moral reasons rather than emotional/mental health reasons, then she might like to reconsider and provided her with some additional information on the background to the national curriculum. 

My final point of advice is, rather than just not returning the form, the parent could directly tell the school she wishes to withdraw her son from the educational visit - that way the school could hold discussions directly with her, rather than with the son in school time only a short while before the visit is due to take place.

Hi,

You do have a legal right to withdraw your child from either part of, or all of Religious Education at school, DfE link here: www.gov.uk/.../other-compulsory-subjects

The school does not have to obtain parental consent to take your child to a school trip where there is minimal risk (DfE guidance states "Written consent is usually only requested for activities that need a higher level of risk management or those that take place outside school hours."

The school should provide alternative educational provision on site, rather than sending your child home if you withdraw him from the school trip. If his whole class is on a trip, then he may need to spend the day in another class, or with 1-1 tuition (whatever the school feels is appropriate). Sending him home is an inappropriate response from the school as your son is entitled to the same number of hours of education per week as his peers (so he should be offered an approved alternative educational activity - being at home with his mother isn't an approved educational activity). 

However, having said all this (assuming your objections are on moral grounds, not your son's mental/emotional health grounds): 

You son SHOULD be exposed to religious discussion and experiences - otherwise you are making the same mistakes as religious people (closing down debate before it's even possible). RE lessons in school aren't ALLOWED to preach to a certain religion and is part of the National curriculum in order to prepare pupils to live in a multi-faith world (part of the RE lessons in your child's school will talk about atheism). I have pasted a letter from North Yorkshire Council which provides a templates for schools to respond to parents who have requested their pupils don't attend a school visit to a Mosque:

Sample letter in response to a parent withdrawing their child from a visit to a place of worship

"Dear

I am sorry to hear that you have requested to withdraw your son/daughter from our visit to…

The visit is an exciting opportunity for our pupils to learn about different faiths and ensure that they are aware of the diverse nature of modern Britain.

Religious Education forms part of the basic curriculum in schools and its teaching is enshrined in law. The school follows the North Yorkshire Agreed Syllabus for Religious Education and part of the curriculum encourages children to study Christianity in great detail, as well as finding out about Hinduism, Sikhism, Judaism, Buddhism and Islam through school trips, visits from outside speakers and class teaching.

The school recognises that parents have the right to withdraw their child from RE in whole or in part, and provide alternative work.

However, the school is aware that children growing up in North Yorkshire may have little contact with people from other faiths and cultures, such as Muslims and it is aware that it has a duty under the Equality Act 2010 to promote good relations between people of different beliefs and ethnicities as part of its single equality duty.

The Governing Body fully supports this trip and the teaching of RE, including Islam.

It is the governors' expectation  that the visit to the mosque will provide an insight for pupils into the nature of British Islam, help them understand how Islam is presented in the media and that groups like ISIS are not a true reflection of the Islam followed by the vast majority of Muslims in Britain.

As a school we have a responsibility to promote pupils’ spiritual, moral, social and cultural education and are judged on the effectiveness of our planned provision by Ofsted. The visit to … significantly contributes to this area of a pupil’s development which is part of preparing all pupils for a life in modern Britain.

In a letter to schools from North Yorkshire Local Authority in January 2015,   ‘Learning Beyond the Classroom – Travel advice’, it states that:

‘It is important as educators that we continue to give children and young people the opportunity to learn about different religions, faiths and cultures and engender respect and tolerance within our communities and to all go about our daily lives without fear or hindrance.’

A full risk assessment has been conducted for the visit and there is no more risk attached to this visit than any other school visit.

The place of worship we are visiting runs regular school visits. Their website details are…if you would like to find out more.                                      

Many schools in North Yorkshire run successful visits to a range of places of worship within North Yorkshire and beyond. I am happy to share some case studies with you if you would like to know more about the nature and impact of such visits.

I would welcome the opportunity to discuss your decision to withdraw your child from the visit.

Yours sincerely,"

I personally would always encourage my child to explore and develop their  critical thinking faculties through a range of medium  - reilgion plays a massive role in society today, and in order for me to hold valid views on the topic, I feel it is my duty to be fully informed. And I hope everyone else in society knows the full range of information before making up their minds. 

Pretty much agree with gramit's post - I am getting less fiercely anti-religious as I get older - there is something in most religions about learning how to get along in society which is generally positive but the dogma and sectarianism that often follow do undermine the benefits.

A church service is an experience that your son might use to learn about religion from the inside. I have no doubt that he will get an alternative view at home and I don't suppose he will come to any harm there.

He may however find a church service overwhelming and incomprehensible so I might not let him go because of the distress that might arise. Some autistic children will not cope with that experience but I