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advice needed on R.E studies in school

caz72

Hi everyone, im new on here.  Would like any advice on a problem we are having at the present time. My autistic son is just finishing his first year in secondary school.  From his first day,we asked that he didnt attend any religious studies/trips as we are an Atheist family.  The school seemed fine with this & when his class does r.e, my son goes to a seperate room with his classroom assistant.  However, they planned church/chapel visits which we didnt want my son attending but when the permission letter came home to be signed, there wasnt an option to 'not allow' the child to go so i never returned the letter & the teacher asked my son who said he wasnt going on the trip.  The teacher then approached me asking why he wasnt going & I explained our decision & said that if it was inconvient, I would either keep him off that day or collect him early. I collected him early on that day but now there is another trip planned & due to his autism he is getting very concerned about this to the point of making himself sick as he knows that they are going to 'force' him to go. The same letter as before came back & again i never signed it & will not be permitting him to go.  Is there anything i can do about this?? Can they force him to go against our wishes?? Thanks in advance for any advice

Parents

  • My answer has been responding to the original post, which stated

    "they planned church/chapel visits which we didnt want my son attending"

    This implied it wasn't the child objecting, but implied that it was the parents objecting to the church visit. 

    **my supposition about why the child is so upset** The child then understandably got upset when confronted by a teacher who clearly didn't realise that the child had been led to believe by his parents that he wasn't going on the trip. The child is now worried that the same situation will play out (i.e. that what he expects to happen will be challenged by people in positions of power, and therefore there is a huge amount of "unexpectedness" about it - a trigger for almost everyone with autism). I would react the same was as the child - even if I knew I could cope fine with being in a church (due to sensory elements etc) I would be extremely anxious because I wouldn't know for sure if I was going to be going or not (I'd have my parents telling me I wasn't, but know that sometimes when my parents tell me I'm not going, people try to make me anyway). 

    This would be my supposition. Of course, it would be best to talk to the child about it, but it mainly seems like this is the result of poor communication between the parents and the school, which has impacted on the child in terms of his understanding of what routines happen around school visits.

    As I said before, if it's a sensory/emotional thing, that's a different matter. 

Reply

  • My answer has been responding to the original post, which stated

    "they planned church/chapel visits which we didnt want my son attending"

    This implied it wasn't the child objecting, but implied that it was the parents objecting to the church visit. 

    **my supposition about why the child is so upset** The child then understandably got upset when confronted by a teacher who clearly didn't realise that the child had been led to believe by his parents that he wasn't going on the trip. The child is now worried that the same situation will play out (i.e. that what he expects to happen will be challenged by people in positions of power, and therefore there is a huge amount of "unexpectedness" about it - a trigger for almost everyone with autism). I would react the same was as the child - even if I knew I could cope fine with being in a church (due to sensory elements etc) I would be extremely anxious because I wouldn't know for sure if I was going to be going or not (I'd have my parents telling me I wasn't, but know that sometimes when my parents tell me I'm not going, people try to make me anyway). 

    This would be my supposition. Of course, it would be best to talk to the child about it, but it mainly seems like this is the result of poor communication between the parents and the school, which has impacted on the child in terms of his understanding of what routines happen around school visits.

    As I said before, if it's a sensory/emotional thing, that's a different matter. 

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