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advice needed on R.E studies in school

caz72

Hi everyone, im new on here.  Would like any advice on a problem we are having at the present time. My autistic son is just finishing his first year in secondary school.  From his first day,we asked that he didnt attend any religious studies/trips as we are an Atheist family.  The school seemed fine with this & when his class does r.e, my son goes to a seperate room with his classroom assistant.  However, they planned church/chapel visits which we didnt want my son attending but when the permission letter came home to be signed, there wasnt an option to 'not allow' the child to go so i never returned the letter & the teacher asked my son who said he wasnt going on the trip.  The teacher then approached me asking why he wasnt going & I explained our decision & said that if it was inconvient, I would either keep him off that day or collect him early. I collected him early on that day but now there is another trip planned & due to his autism he is getting very concerned about this to the point of making himself sick as he knows that they are going to 'force' him to go. The same letter as before came back & again i never signed it & will not be permitting him to go.  Is there anything i can do about this?? Can they force him to go against our wishes?? Thanks in advance for any advice

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Clovis is right to draw attention to the impact that this situation is having on the child.

    There is a deeper question here about why this child has such an aversion. The root of that aversion needs to be understood and then dealt with. He may be upset by the crowds and noise or he may be upset at the ideas involved which conflict with his own principles or those of his family. He may not be able to reconcile the very contradictory signals he is getting from school and family about religion. This might be an opportunity to try and explain how it is OK for different people to have completely opposite views. It may be that he can't cope with the contradictions and he probably needs help with coming to terms with ambiguities like this as it is perhaps not ideal just to avoid situations rather than tackle them with greater understanding. He may be reacting to the force being used to make him do something that he does not want to do. If he keeps being forced to do things he does not like or cope with then he may end up going down the path of pathological demand avoidance or oppositional defiance.

    The key to making progress is to really understand it from the child's point of view.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Clovis is right to draw attention to the impact that this situation is having on the child.

    There is a deeper question here about why this child has such an aversion. The root of that aversion needs to be understood and then dealt with. He may be upset by the crowds and noise or he may be upset at the ideas involved which conflict with his own principles or those of his family. He may not be able to reconcile the very contradictory signals he is getting from school and family about religion. This might be an opportunity to try and explain how it is OK for different people to have completely opposite views. It may be that he can't cope with the contradictions and he probably needs help with coming to terms with ambiguities like this as it is perhaps not ideal just to avoid situations rather than tackle them with greater understanding. He may be reacting to the force being used to make him do something that he does not want to do. If he keeps being forced to do things he does not like or cope with then he may end up going down the path of pathological demand avoidance or oppositional defiance.

    The key to making progress is to really understand it from the child's point of view.

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