Any parents who are Autistic or think they probably are

I got diagnosed end of last year fairly close to my son (11) (different services). I also believe my daughter (9) is too, it's certainly makes a lot of differences to have this at the front of parenting them both.

I'm default parent too, though my husband does do a lot for support where he can (he does parents evenings). I think what helped me is though I only found I was autistic recently, I think they were always my special interest as I put a lot of effort into moving life around for them (one of my assessors noted I talk about them a lot). They also get on well as they tend to share special interests between them (they talk endlessly about Minecraft every meal time for years).

They are easier at home where they are comfortable, my difficulties set in when we are out, my son tends to shutdown and has to be allowed to do things like push the trolley, no matter how heavy, and my daughter clings to me even at 9, unless it's a quiet area and she's comfortable. I had last Friday off, and I took them out for a few things, library, pick up some clothing they needed and a few things from the shops. I can handle their needs at the time, but I get so exhausted, my husband has to put them to bed as I'm done in after cooking dinner too, and in bed before them. I also slept in the morning after (Saturday), I've never slept that long in decades. My daughter's meltdowns are also really hard, the screaming it's hard to sensitive ears. 

I think I'm doing good but it's been a long long learning process of what works for each child, and I haven't always got it right at the time, but I do try and figure out a better approach and it helps.

Ooo setting boundaries. Yeah, that’s difficult, too. One thing that helps is to be consistent. When you do make boundaries, make sure you stick to them. Autistic children thrive the most when there are clear expectations.

Thank you, communication and setting boundaries for our Child is difficult for us 

Thank you very much to both of you. 

Hi, I'm a mother of 4 year old toddler. It's hard, I have some weaknesses and strengths. My weakness is generally empathy- not that im malicious,  but its hard for me to recognise and understand my daughter's emotions or intentions. But im good at handing her tantrums because I'm naturally indifferent.  She knows that her tears don't bother me, especially when she wants something. This is my husbands weakness. So the result is that the little one behaves better with me than daddy. My husband is much better at playing with her, roleplays etc. I can sit and do parallel activities,  but role play is too much for me. It always was. As a kid I was mostly busy drawing plans, floor plans, city plans, generating data etc. 

The period after birth was terrible. I felt like I was in a wrong body. I decided I don't wanna have more children.

I need more time alone everyday. My husband is not happy about it and my daughter too. But I can't function otherwise. Solitude and my pacing are absolute must everyday.

NAS75657 said:

Any parents who are either diagnosed or self identify as Autistic how do you find parenting children with Autism any advice? 

As well as hopefully getting some other replies here, you might also find it helpful to visit Autistic Parents UK and ask for feedback and advice there. It's a specialist charity that focuses on that area, and their resources include peer support via both Facebook and Discord, facilitated groups, and one-on-one support:

"Autistic Parents UK CIO was founded in 2020 by Autistic parents seeking connection and support, born from a deep understanding of the unique challenges Autistic individuals face while navigating parenthood.

We are the only national, Autistic-led charity offering essential support services, resources, education and a thriving community for Autistic parents."

Autistic Parents UK

Good morning from America!

I’m a ASD/ADHD/GAD/MDD father with one of my two daughters also with ASD/ADHD (age 8). It’s tricky, especially with a NT partner who takes on way more responsibility because I can’t handle a lot of the stress that comes with parenting. But I’d say that communication with your partner is such an imperative thing to keep up on. Make sure your husband is aware what you can and cannot handle at the moment, and the visa versa as well.

Let me know if you have any specific questions I might be able to answer!