When One Transition Feels Like a Thousand

I don't have advice just yet, but wanted to just offer support as next year my son transitions to high school and I have been dreading it. He's finally due his assessment next week, and I'm hoping it will help as I think his high school have enhanced transitions for those that qualify. For him it really affacts his school work, so he'll stuggle going from his current small rural school with a teacher that's had him for 6 of his 7 years there and learnt to accomodate his needs, to a high school with multiple teachers a day. I hope you get some advice as I could do with it too!

My daughter just transitioned up from the p1-3 class to the p4-7 class and I had suspected she might also be ND, but it has had a huge effect on her too and now has requent meltdowns and lapses into only being able to write and not speak.  Speaking to her teacher now is hopefully going to have some positives for her, but it's not the same comparred to a high school transition. I think she will struggle with that one too.

And yeah, trying to deal with one child having frequent shutdowns and the other daily meltdowns, it's been extremely hard for me this term. I think I'm in burnout, but homelife stress is not something you can avoid. Monday was a bank holiday here (Scotland) and I had a meltdown myself as I let the noise get on top of me. I need to learn to go to a dark room if I can, as weekends/holidays seem to be getting worse for me (plus the extra stress of christmas). 

I don't have advice just yet, but wanted to just offer support as next year my son transitions to high school and I have been dreading it. He's finally due his assessment next week, and I'm hoping it will help as I think his high school have enhanced transitions for those that qualify. For him it really affacts his school work, so he'll stuggle going from his current small rural school with a teacher that's had him for 6 of his 7 years there and learnt to accomodate his needs, to a high school with multiple teachers a day. I hope you get some advice as I could do with it too!

My daughter just transitioned up from the p1-3 class to the p4-7 class and I had suspected she might also be ND, but it has had a huge effect on her too and now has requent meltdowns and lapses into only being able to write and not speak.  Speaking to her teacher now is hopefully going to have some positives for her, but it's not the same comparred to a high school transition. I think she will struggle with that one too.

And yeah, trying to deal with one child having frequent shutdowns and the other daily meltdowns, it's been extremely hard for me this term. I think I'm in burnout, but homelife stress is not something you can avoid. Monday was a bank holiday here (Scotland) and I had a meltdown myself as I let the noise get on top of me. I need to learn to go to a dark room if I can, as weekends/holidays seem to be getting worse for me (plus the extra stress of christmas). 

Both my children suffered with transitions. When my eldest started school he developed stomach problems and lost an alarming amount of weight, in the end we moved him to a school with smaller class sizes and fewer disruptive children and things improved a lot. When he moved to secondary school he found it very challenging and it was a bit rocky for a while - but then things settled down, school was always a strain for him though. When my youngest started school he developed Selective Mutism and he never managed to overcome that throughout his school years. In a 2am he struggled so severely that the first transition to secondary school was ‘just more of the same’ in that things were already bad, and they stayed bad. However when he moved to his next school he really hit a wall and just refused to go to school anymore. I understood this - and in a way was surprised he hadn’t had school refusal already as the pressure on him to have Mutism at school was awful. After a few weeks/months (can’t remember exactly long it was as it feels like it was a bit of a blur) he eventually agreed to go back on a much reduced timetable of a few hours a week, just go8ng in for individual lessons and then coming home. I would drive him in and walk round the village where the school was and then meet him and bring him home after the lesson. It broke my heart to see my children suffer in the way they did at school - particularly my youngest as his Selective Mutism made his life at school so incredibly hard. I’m sorry that this isn’t a more positive reply. I can only say: listen deeply to your daughter and never underestimate the pressure being in school can put on autistic children. I hope things go ok for you all. 

Hi Cinnabar_wing ! 

Thank you so much for your reply, it is nice to feel less alone navigating this. 

I hope your sons assessment next week goes well and I would try to access as much as you can once you receive his diagnosis - from my experience, it can take a while. My daughter was slightly similar, he was from a small school with familiar faces however, they did change teacher each year but sometimes they could have the same one again. It does sound like your children's school is supportive, so that is helpful! 

I think I have been in burnout for a while too. I feel like I am a piece of string on its last thread constantly. I do hope you feel better soon. 

Loz