Advice on 25yr old with Autism and ADHD

Hi Susannah that's good. I smoke only  herbs. It helps with my mental health and calms me down. I don't smoke tobacco though that stuff is bad. I don't really drink either. I also think meds can help too. Forcing myself to go out and attend groups helps. It gets easier the more you do it. Because you keep going then you realise nobody cares about you so you stop caring and taking it so seriously haha

HI, thanks for replying. I'm hoping he grows out of it too. He smokes (alot!) I'm hoping he stops that one day as well. He's currently trying some medication, it seems to be helping but it's a slow process. 

Hi Susannah I don't know if this is any use but I'm a 25 yr old autistic guy and I gave up video games entirely a year ago and started watching TV learning stuff meeting people and walking. I just grew out of all that stuff. I have autism and anxiety I used to drink but I now take herbs 

Thank you. Useful to know there is support there for when he is ready to engage with it. 

Came home from work today and he had asked my husband for the report with his exam grades on as he needed it for a uni application! Completely out of the blue. He shut him down when he asked about it, but I guess he'll tell us when he's ready! Must be a positive step though and maybe you're right, boredom has motivated him to some action!

Happy to discuss what we can here.   

Basically he stumbled through a uni degree with a few set backs and issues.  he has returned after fluffing a masters and as I say has returned to his room.  He has in the last few weeks started to look at jobs so perhaps the boredom is getting to him

As a say elsewhere in the thread our son has always engaged with 3rd parties - a mentor at uni, a counsellor during a levels etc.  I know its potentially $$$$ but this might be worth investigating.

Another mum we have talked to is using an occupational therapist with her son who is giving him strategies on getting stuff done and coping with daily life.  This seems to have improved things.

II hope some of this helps ...

Hi, I can't seem to navigate the connection request? I would like to discuss further though...

Yes, it's tough! My son was willing to engage with the assessment so that was half the battle won. I would keep trying to encourage him to get an assessment and maybe even include the GP? My son has numerous visit's to the GP and they were very helpful, the quickest route was "Right to choose" it comes from a self referral. 

Chubbyunicorn/Susannah

Its really tough.

We know of a number of - mainly boys - in this situation.  

I think the main issue for me is the internet.   For someone who has autism/adhd/ocd the internet enables you to setup some kind of life where you can hide and avoid the 'real' world.   When I was a kid there was no internet and eventually for those wired this way perhaps boredom would eventually force you to make a move.  This is not the case in 2025 where you have unlimited content and social media.

I often feel like a drug dealer in this respect as I am paying for all this internet access.

I sometimes wonder if we should restrict the internet or even turn it off but we can't really face the rows that will ensue.

Our current plan is to engage a third party to perhaps offer strategies on what to do.  Our son has always reacted well to third party involvement as he usually refuses to discuss things or plain blanks us.   Having him diagnosed with autism before uni allowed us to get him disabled student allowance which gave him access to a mentor which he really valued.

Here's hoping.

Happy to discuss any other holes we have fallen down.

Good luck to you all.

;)

Hi, we are in the same position except my son is 19. He finished college in June, passed his A levels OK but has no plans and refuses to engage in any conversations about next steps. Just mentioning it sends him into an anxiety response and he shuts down.

He also stays up late and sleeps most of the day. I just can't see how we can move forward.

He is undiagnosed and although did agree to an assessment last year. The process just to be referred via the GP was messed up and now he won't engage in anything about an assessment either.

Just have no idea what to do.

Thanks for replying Susannah .. I have sent a connection request so we can discuss off forum if that works.

Cheers

Richard

Hi 

I could have written this myself, this describes my son too. He's 25 next year, he was at university but it didn't work out for him, he's been back home since last July and sadly he's doing the same, sleeping during the day and spending time on games/internet into the early hours. He has just started medication for ADHD but that's in the early stages. He just won't go out, he's in the flat all day every day. I have no idea what to do to motivate him?

Maybe we could discuss this further?

He was diagnosed with autism, adhd and ocd. 

Susannah