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Advice on 25yr old with Autism and ADHD

NAS72712

Our son has been formally diagnosed with Autism, OCD & ADHD.   He is a bright boy and managed to complete a History degree, he started an MSC but dropped out.   He did not succeed in making many friends and has now returned home and has retreated to his room and we are getting quite worried about him.

He has come to the end of his education and does not seem to have any plan on how to move forward in life.  Try as we might to talk to him about it he does not want to engage with us.  He has become nocturnal (possibly to avoid us his parents) and sleeps all day.   He spends a lot of time on the internet and is a avid non fiction reader. 

In the past he has had third party support which he engaged with and valued.   

We are at a bit of a loss as to what do.   

If anyone else has been in this situation and could recommend strategies it would be very welcome.

Particularly any third parties that could help.

Parents

  • Chubbyunicorn/Susannah

    Its really tough.

    We know of a number of - mainly boys - in this situation.  

    I think the main issue for me is the internet.   For someone who has autism/adhd/ocd the internet enables you to setup some kind of life where you can hide and avoid the 'real' world.   When I was a kid there was no internet and eventually for those wired this way perhaps boredom would eventually force you to make a move.  This is not the case in 2025 where you have unlimited content and social media.

    I often feel like a drug dealer in this respect as I am paying for all this internet access.

    I sometimes wonder if we should restrict the internet or even turn it off but we can't really face the rows that will ensue.

    Our current plan is to engage a third party to perhaps offer strategies on what to do.  Our son has always reacted well to third party involvement as he usually refuses to discuss things or plain blanks us.   Having him diagnosed with autism before uni allowed us to get him disabled student allowance which gave him access to a mentor which he really valued.

    Here's hoping.

    Happy to discuss any other holes we have fallen down.

    Good luck to you all.

    ;)

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  • Chubbyunicorn/Susannah

    Its really tough.

    We know of a number of - mainly boys - in this situation.  

    I think the main issue for me is the internet.   For someone who has autism/adhd/ocd the internet enables you to setup some kind of life where you can hide and avoid the 'real' world.   When I was a kid there was no internet and eventually for those wired this way perhaps boredom would eventually force you to make a move.  This is not the case in 2025 where you have unlimited content and social media.

    I often feel like a drug dealer in this respect as I am paying for all this internet access.

    I sometimes wonder if we should restrict the internet or even turn it off but we can't really face the rows that will ensue.

    Our current plan is to engage a third party to perhaps offer strategies on what to do.  Our son has always reacted well to third party involvement as he usually refuses to discuss things or plain blanks us.   Having him diagnosed with autism before uni allowed us to get him disabled student allowance which gave him access to a mentor which he really valued.

    Here's hoping.

    Happy to discuss any other holes we have fallen down.

    Good luck to you all.

    ;)

Children
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