New to this *4 year old*

Thank you so much it’s given me a lot of food for thought in terms of school I guess it’s a case of see how we get on and know there is alternative support if required. you choosing to wait until your child was 6 makes perfect sense I think that’s been playing on my mind as obviously discussed what’s going on with close family and friends and I am aware he is a sponge so I have been conscious of the conversations I’ve had around him and right now it feels like a big thing to explain to him he’s happy and I don’t want it to become a thing that has any negative or confusion attached like I don’t want to confuse him when he isn’t at the age where he can fully understand so I certainly think the conversation will come when he’s at a more communicate and understanding age. I’m quickly llearning routine is key visual aids are a great idea!!  Really appreciate your comment and advise thank you for your time and sharing it really helps 

Hello there Yellow88.

My daughter and I both have Autism and ADHD. I was diagnosed at 30 yo, my daughter around 4 yo. We’re from the USA, so my advice might not apply perfectly well, but a few things:

1. I can definitely understand your concerns regarding moving from nursery to school. That’s a huge change. Personally, I would see if he adjusts well the first several months, then if things don’t go well, consider whether or not he may need to go to a special education classroom. My daughter adjusted okay to preschool and kindergarten, but the shift to 1st grade was not great. We ended up finding her a social/emotional focused classroom with less students and that fit her needs much better.

2. Telling him that he is Autistic/ADHD is a very personal thing and there’s no right or wrong answer. In our case, we told her around age six, but it was a long process. We told her I have Autism first, then introduced her to Autistic people and characters over time. For example, Thomas and Friends All Engines Go has an Autistic character. After a while she kind of came to the conclusion herself that she might be Autistic, too, so then we confirmed that. She took it very well. There’s no pressing need for your son to know now, but eventually someday he’ll need to know. It’s up to you to decide when you’re most comfortable telling him.

3. In regards to your parenting style: Just keep being his biggest advocate. There’s some small things that might help such as giving him visual aides for potty time rituals, keeping him on a stricter routine overall, etc., but it sounds like you are very patient and caring with him already.

Hopefully that helps some. I wish you and your family the best!

Thank you for this information I will certainly give it a ready I’m actually finding this website a great place of resource so thank you 

Thank you so much for sharing it really helps listening to their difficulties is a great takeaway for me 

my biggest concern is my son is going from Nursey to school and he’s really attached to a lady within Nursey when she was on holiday it was a rough week getting him to Nursey he knows he’s going to school but I don’t think he’s clicked he won’t see everyone at Nursey again so I’m not sure if half days will help or if he will figure he only needs to do half days at school potentially I can get it wrong either way 

You are obviously a caring parent, that is the most important thing you can be for your child. I was not diagnosed autistic until I was 59, my daughter, diagnosed the day after me, was 19. We both turned out fine, if with certain autism-related anxiety and sensory difficulties. Parenting that is tailor-made for autistic children is not always of vital importance. The only thing I can suggest is, that if your child tells you of particular difficulties, please believe them, even if they may seem strange or exaggerated to you.

Starting school can be a rather traumatic event for autistic children, after starting infant school I was selectively mute at school for three months. If you can negotiate a phased start to your child's school life - restricted hours etc. for a few weeks - that may help to make the transition easier.

Dear Yelllow88, 

Thank you for your post. Maintaining communication with school will be very beneficial to your son and in turn they should keep you informed about what is happening at school. Telling them about the diagnosis will allow them to put strategies in place to meet his needs.

We have some information pages which may be helpful for your to read over the summer. Please find them attached below for you to explore. 

General information on autism

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

School education

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/school-education

With best wishes, 

Anna Mod