Going to tell my 7 year old he is autistic

I'm glad it went so well for you ! Definitely I think the less we talk and the more we listen, it will help him figure out some stuff on his own. For community, have you done social groups ?

Thank you, all the best to you as well <3

I wish you all the best and good luck!

Best thing I did, my son has global development delay, so I waited until he was 10, at least until his community improved, and rather than making it a big deal, I just explained that he struggles with his emotions because of his Autism, at first he shrugged it off, then eventually he came asking what Autism is, and so we watched some videos on YouTube I found the visuals helped, I made sure to check them out myself first, so I knew he could follow them, they kind of softened the diagnosis, with the silliness and humour in the videos, we giggled together and I answered any questions positively, I suppose it helped him understand himself more than anything, and this allowed me to implement strategies to help him with every day struggles, it opened up communication between us, for example he began asking why he gets worried all the time, and I explained that we create our own worries, and by changing them to a positive, they become less a worry because we are controlling them effectively, for e.g going to school, I say no you are just going to work like mum and dad, then we will all come home and be together, the simplifying helps him greatly to look at things from another perspective. 

I will have to get that book as well. We are thinking of having our chat this weekend

It didn’t happen overnight and it did take some time but yes things are more manageable for him now. The book we used was Wonderfully Wired Brains by Louise Gooding, it’s an introduction to neurodiversity but simple to understand and positive. Might be worth a go, you can get it in audible as well. 

They do sound extremely similar. Someone sent me a kids book on here that I will get for him, has really high ratings. It gives me great comfort your son has blossomed since your talk. I am hoping the same for mine and that the self awareness will bring him more confidence in who he is as a person

My son is very similar to yours by the sound of it. I started by having conversations about how everyone is different and that the word “normal” does not exist when it comes to people. I then explained that it’s good to be different and how we should see it as a real quality. I never gave him too much to think about at once so he didn’t get overwhelmed. We also used a book once he had processed everything which covered most aspects of neurological differences. I will find out what the book is and post on here, we read it together. My son was very shy and reserved with little confidence and needed constant reassurance, through self acceptance he has learned to mask less and the change in his character is so different now. Although still reserved at times and things are still a challenge he is a lot more outgoing, advocates for himself more and actually says if he doesn’t like something instead of just going along with it. 

I'm really happy it was so positive for you guys  I feel like he will take it pretty well. It is more so starting the conversation itself ? Maybe start with the noise in class he doesn't like and talk about sensory things ? Did your son ever ask you questions before his diagnosis ?  My son doesn't have a lot of self confidence so I am hoping this will put his mind at ease and make him feel empowered. He also doesn't pick up on social cues well. For reference I'd say he's like Sheldon Cooper from big bang theory.. super funny in his own way but I feel like when we tell him he'll just be like " oh, okay" and move on. That or be horrified. 

We told our son shortly after his 10th birthday. He had his diagnosis a couple of months before that. He had been having therapy well over a year pre diagnosis and still does to this day, he already realised he was different but us telling him just gave him the opportunity to explore things further and learn about himself. I kept things very positive and was very open with him. I had spent so much time worrying over this I would make myself feel ill but he took it so well and is so open about it…. I’m so proud of him. For my son the knowledge has given him some comfort and he’s learning how to keep himself regulated. I’m not saying I have done the right thing but it’s been a positive thing for us. 

I just wanted to share our experience and happy to answer any questions you have?

Very true. Give me a lot of hope to hear that. It is certain he isn't thriving where he is now

Our boy is going to mainstream college to do his A levels next year.  But if we'd not moved him to a specialist school 4 years ago he'd never have passed his GCSEs - he was failing in every category in his old school - academic, social, emotional, physical education...  even though it was private with class sizes around 20.   He wasn't even eating properly back then.  He's ready for mainstream now. It's not always a straight path for our children.

I bought a book for me on there but didn't know there would be one for him. This is amazing, thank you !!

I am not a parent of an autistic child, but my niece’s son is autistic and he loved reading this with his mother. The book is aimed at the 8+ year old, but if you download a sample from Amazon, you might get an idea of the sort of thing that might be useful as an introduction.

The feedback is very helpful though and if nothing else, you are helping me and my little boy. My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry you had to think there was anything wrong with you at all, even for a day.

I think it does. I wish there was someone who would tell me back then, why I struggle so much. I grew up being harsh on myself and deeply believing that I’m inferior to others. I have this belief so deep in my blood that it’s really hard to get rid of it. I don’t know how it would be if… but at least now I know myself better and I know I’m not alone. 

We do have an entire school dedicated to kids with needs a town over, this whole chat has been so helpful so I reached out to them to see what they can offer. I truly appreciate your insight 

Best thing we ever did...  no regrets moving from a private school to a special ed school.  Yes it's important to have quiet spaces the kids can get away to but spending long periods sitting outside in the corridor on your own is not education...

I fear the special education class may not help him more. Their old teacher is not teach a none specialized class and you can hear him scream at those kids. Scary to think how he faced the challenges in his old classroom. I honestly may switch schools altogether

I was googling that last night as a support tool, I think he would find that really interesting and comforting too