Going to tell my 7 year old he is autistic

Hi there,

I am in a tough spot and would love some advice from other parents who have had this chat. Since my son started grade one, everything has changed for him.. as I believe the expectations are higher but also, so abnormal to how he functions. Sitting in a desk all day listening to a lecture or the buzzing loud noise of 20+ kids is getting too much. I recently had surgery and his seperation anxiety has spiked.. he cries every morning at drop off and it breaking my heart. Recently kids teased him saying he was dumb for how he writes..

So here I am, debating on telling him about his autism and exactly what to say. My son is extremely high functioning so I think he will be understanding, but he suffers from low confidence despite our best efforts. I really do believe it is his super power, he is so bright, funny and gifted.. he wouldn't be him, if he wasn't autistic ! And I absolutely adore him, everyone who meets him does.. 

To end my long speech (thanks for reading) how did you tell your child? How was it received ? Or really anything ? I don't even know where to begin.

Thanks <3

Parents
  • Wow, this sounds eerily similar to the situation we had. My daughter was diagnosed with ASD/ADHD at around 4yrs old and we told her at 7. We really eased her into it over the course of a few months by introducing her to Autistic people first. Ex. I have Autism, so we explained my experience to her. Bruno the brake car from the cartoon Thomas & Friends All Engines Go is Autistic, so we used him as an example too. Eventually she came to the conclusion herself “I think I might have Autism!” and we supported it by telling her about her diagnosis.

  • Wow, amazing she had such self awareness to put that together. I didn't know that there was an asd character on that show.. I wonder if I could show him that and he could put that into context as well.

    I hope in telling him, it will make him beat himself up less in the areas he struggles. He has cousins with ASD but no immediate family and since I am neurotypical, as well as my husband, we don't have the same viewpoint to connect on. We will have to ease into the talk and just start with him knowing he has it and answering his questions ?

  • Yeah! IMO him knowing what Autism is first and understanding that it’s not scary before telling him he has it is a good way of going about it. If you look up “famous people with autism” you’ll find a ton of good examples. Mozart and Einstein (we think they had it), the actor Anthony Hopkins, activist Greta Thunberg, the creator of Pokémon Satoshi Tajiri, and so much more. Maybe by knowing that so many people have been successful even with the struggles Autism can bring, it can help your son find hope in the diagnosis!

  • I was googling that last night as a support tool, I think he would find that really interesting and comforting too

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