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Going to tell my 7 year old he is autistic

SarahB15

Hi there,

I am in a tough spot and would love some advice from other parents who have had this chat. Since my son started grade one, everything has changed for him.. as I believe the expectations are higher but also, so abnormal to how he functions. Sitting in a desk all day listening to a lecture or the buzzing loud noise of 20+ kids is getting too much. I recently had surgery and his seperation anxiety has spiked.. he cries every morning at drop off and it breaking my heart. Recently kids teased him saying he was dumb for how he writes..

So here I am, debating on telling him about his autism and exactly what to say. My son is extremely high functioning so I think he will be understanding, but he suffers from low confidence despite our best efforts. I really do believe it is his super power, he is so bright, funny and gifted.. he wouldn't be him, if he wasn't autistic ! And I absolutely adore him, everyone who meets him does.. 

To end my long speech (thanks for reading) how did you tell your child? How was it received ? Or really anything ? I don't even know where to begin.

Thanks <3

Parents

  • We told our son shortly after his 10th birthday. He had his diagnosis a couple of months before that. He had been having therapy well over a year pre diagnosis and still does to this day, he already realised he was different but us telling him just gave him the opportunity to explore things further and learn about himself. I kept things very positive and was very open with him. I had spent so much time worrying over this I would make myself feel ill but he took it so well and is so open about it…. I’m so proud of him. For my son the knowledge has given him some comfort and he’s learning how to keep himself regulated. I’m not saying I have done the right thing but it’s been a positive thing for us. 

    I just wanted to share our experience and happy to answer any questions you have?

  • in reply to Take5

    I'm really happy it was so positive for you guys Slight smile I feel like he will take it pretty well. It is more so starting the conversation itself ? Maybe start with the noise in class he doesn't like and talk about sensory things ? Did your son ever ask you questions before his diagnosis ?  My son doesn't have a lot of self confidence so I am hoping this will put his mind at ease and make him feel empowered. He also doesn't pick up on social cues well. For reference I'd say he's like Sheldon Cooper from big bang theory.. super funny in his own way but I feel like when we tell him he'll just be like " oh, okay" and move on. That or be horrified. 

  • in reply to SarahB15

    My son is very similar to yours by the sound of it. I started by having conversations about how everyone is different and that the word “normal” does not exist when it comes to people. I then explained that it’s good to be different and how we should see it as a real quality. I never gave him too much to think about at once so he didn’t get overwhelmed. We also used a book once he had processed everything which covered most aspects of neurological differences. I will find out what the book is and post on here, we read it together. My son was very shy and reserved with little confidence and needed constant reassurance, through self acceptance he has learned to mask less and the change in his character is so different now. Although still reserved at times and things are still a challenge he is a lot more outgoing, advocates for himself more and actually says if he doesn’t like something instead of just going along with it. 

  • in reply to Take5

    Thank you, all the best to you as well <3

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