Going to tell my 7 year old he is autistic

Our son was about 11 when we told him. I wrote him a letter which he read at the kitchen table with us, about how some of the issues he was having with school were identical to mine at his age, and it was because I had autism, and so does he.

Everyone is different I guess but in our case he accepted it really well. A couple years later it became apparent he needed to be tested for ADHD and we stated talking to him about that - from his perspective the diagnosis couldn’t come soon enough…

If it helps, he’s currently in a school for about 500 pupils of all ages that have specific learning difficulties and, on entry, I asked the headmaster how many of the boys attending his school were aware of their diagnoses - he suggested ‘probably most of them’.

From my personal perspective, I wish I’d known I had autism when I was still a child, things would have been so much easier and could have been so different.

Best of luck.

Thank you for this, I deeply appreciate the point of view. We do have some private schools here for kids with similar abilities but most say to keep him in public school with neurotypical children. I was told last week from his overstimulation and not wanting to he in class, he is just in the hall, LRT office or in the main office.. I think his education is suffering.. as it is a small school and they just don't want to focus on just him. He is brilliant, feel like it is being wasted.

Yeah my daughter was in public school for first grade as well and really struggled with it. The class was just too big (about 26ish maybe?). We managed to switch her to a special education classroom for students with social/emotional disabilities and it had half the class size. I think the change in class size was exactly what she needed, as she seemed so much less exhausted when she gets home and we got less reports of her being overstimulated.

It’s good for AuDHD children to get integrated into larger NT classrooms, but 1st grade might not be the right time for that for all children. We’ll try again with our daughter in the near future, but not yet.

Very true. Give me a lot of hope to hear that. It is certain he isn't thriving where he is now

Our boy is going to mainstream college to do his A levels next year.  But if we'd not moved him to a specialist school 4 years ago he'd never have passed his GCSEs - he was failing in every category in his old school - academic, social, emotional, physical education...  even though it was private with class sizes around 20.   He wasn't even eating properly back then.  He's ready for mainstream now. It's not always a straight path for our children.

We do have an entire school dedicated to kids with needs a town over, this whole chat has been so helpful so I reached out to them to see what they can offer. I truly appreciate your insight 

Best thing we ever did...  no regrets moving from a private school to a special ed school.  Yes it's important to have quiet spaces the kids can get away to but spending long periods sitting outside in the corridor on your own is not education...

I fear the special education class may not help him more. Their old teacher is not teach a none specialized class and you can hear him scream at those kids. Scary to think how he faced the challenges in his old classroom. I honestly may switch schools altogether

I fear the special education class may not help him more. Their old teacher is not teach a none specialized class and you can hear him scream at those kids. Scary to think how he faced the challenges in his old classroom. I honestly may switch schools altogether

Very true. Give me a lot of hope to hear that. It is certain he isn't thriving where he is now

Our boy is going to mainstream college to do his A levels next year.  But if we'd not moved him to a specialist school 4 years ago he'd never have passed his GCSEs - he was failing in every category in his old school - academic, social, emotional, physical education...  even though it was private with class sizes around 20.   He wasn't even eating properly back then.  He's ready for mainstream now. It's not always a straight path for our children.

We do have an entire school dedicated to kids with needs a town over, this whole chat has been so helpful so I reached out to them to see what they can offer. I truly appreciate your insight 

Best thing we ever did...  no regrets moving from a private school to a special ed school.  Yes it's important to have quiet spaces the kids can get away to but spending long periods sitting outside in the corridor on your own is not education...