Resilience course

I think resilience is one of the most overused words currently in the English language, it also seems to be a word suffering from mission creep. I wonder how long this course the organisers went on was and what it taught them about resilence? If they can't get their heads around autistic needs being different before you've even started the course, then I doubt if they will suddenly acquire it half way through.

Who invited you and why did they invite you? If it's something benefits related, then you'll probably have to go and endure it or get sanctioned. If you have to go, then I suggest you write a list of questions you have about the course and add too it during breaks and just keep asking. They'll probably mark you down as being disruptive, awkward and unwilling to engage, which will be true-ish, but if there's no come back financially, then I'd go and be awkward.

I had a phone call with the organiser. 

I get where your coming from. And yes maybe for some it could be helpful.

But my previous experience of a push on resilience is the "you can do anything" approach and not remotely taking into account the autistic brain. VLDs comments so far ring alarm bells to me - comments like same for everyone say to me - you'll do it the neurotypical way.

Having been given a lot of "help" that didn't suit my brain and very little that did. I actually found myself getting more ground down and it felt like constant reminders that the world is not designed for people like me. So I do think there is a flip side where badly designed courses can do more harm than good. So on that basis I'd always be really wary of telling someone to go for it.

I am also aware that when people help you in a way that works for my brain - it makes a massive difference.

Expecto_Patronum said:

Teaching resilience does not change the make up of the autistic brain. If somebody comes on here and says they've been on a really helpful resilience course then fair enough but I personally think it's one of the buzz words they push, thinking they're doing good when actually they just don't have a clue.

I see what you mean.

What I see is that the course is offering a tool to use rather than them trying to change you and as with any tool it is down to how you choose to use it.

Buzz words are inevitable in the corporate world but you can learn to filter them out and keep on with what you are there to do.

What I would suggest for VLD  is to go on the course, see what they have to offer and give feedback to HR afterwards as to whether it is worthwhile for you.

Give it a try - it may offer some help (the general idea did work for me, so it isn't an anti-autist thing) or it may just be a chance to get some time away from your day job.

See that statement "it is the same for everyone" rings absolute alarm bells for me.

I would say that people should pick the work environment that works for their brain. I don't think a resilience course would help in the situation you have described. There is a lot of evidence that shows that you can't desensitise autistic people to distressing sensory stimuli. I personally would never choose a work environment with that level of sensory stressors as I'm fully aware I'd find it difficult and would be very heightened. It wouldn't matter how many times you put in that scenario. I'd still find them distressing.

I have been in a work place where my needs were not met as there was too much change. The push was on my to be more resilient, it nearly broke me. I now know that it was completely the wrong approach and with a few reasonable adjustments I manage fine. Being put in that situation did not build more resilience in me - it pushed me to the brink. 

Teaching resilience does not change the make up of the autistic brain. If somebody comes on here and says they've been on a really helpful resilience course then fair enough but I personally think it's one of the buzz words they push, thinking they're doing good when actually they just don't have a clue.

I already asked them and they tell me it is the same course for everyone. I tried to explain that it may require adaptation to take into account our needs but they tell me the course cannot be changed. 

I think I have already decided not to attend but tell them why. 

Thanks for all your help guys. I was beginning to wonder if it was me that was wrong. Much appreciated  

VLD said:

No they don't understand.

Can you clarify how you know this please? Have you spoken in depth with the people who will present the material and/or reviewed the material?

I'm not having a go, just trying to understant the situation better

Expecto_Patronum said:

It honestly drives me mad that people think autistic people aren't resilient. Personally think we're some of the most resilient people around. If NTs had any idea what we deal with on a daily basis to get through life.

Having been through a period of my life when people kept telling me how resilient I am, I thoroughly agree. I found this at the time and it really resonated with me:

No they don't understand. They are just pushing me to attend and telling me that resilience can help everyone.

I asked the initial question because I was doubtful about attending but thought I might be wrong. It is being paid for by the NHS and I think they may be worried that we all leave. 

VLD said:

They tell me they understand autism because they have been on a course!

That should be an easy one to test.

At the start of the course asked them what major autistic traits does the course specifically hope to help and see if they actually understand their stuff.

They tell me they understand autism because they have been on a course!

Expecto_Patronum said:

it was all about having to deal with the situation and it not being "fixed" in order to build resilience. I don't think this fits for autistic people at all.

There are a lot of situations where resiliance is necessary though.

If you are a factory worker in a loud, bright and smelly environment (eg assembling items from freshly painted components) then you can't tell the employer to turn the lights down, make the machines quieter or make it less smelly, you need to learn resilance if you want to work there.

This may include hearing protection but the rest is largely immutable.

Not every situation can be sorted with Reasonabe Adjustments which is why this sort of thing exists.

VLD said:

It is supposed to be for autistic poeple but the organisers don't seem to have any understanding of autism

I would go to whoever organised the course for you, clarify if this is supposed to be for autistic people.

Have you met the people runnin the course? I assume you have as you comment on their knowlege so I would write to them and ask them if they can explain how the course is designed to help autists in particular and what methodology it uses.

This should give a clear indication if there is a confusion about the autistic alignment or if they are just lying. Maybe it is actually designed well and it hasn't been communicated well so I would consider which of your autistic traits are most affected by it and ask them how it will help these when you are at the course introduction.

I've done all sorts of things in my life to develop resiliance whether working in a physically hostile environment, working with constant interruptions, interacting with lots of stressed people or in a role where I am constantly changing tasks to keep the "plates spinning" in order to maintain a service.

Maybe they have some of these techniques you can use to help yourself, maybe not but remember to ask for clarification when the course starts and give them feedback at the end where they have room for improvement. Be a part of making it better for the next autistic person.

It honestly drives me mad that people think autistic people aren't resilient. Personally think we're some of the most resilient people around. If NTs had any idea what we deal with on a daily basis to get through life.

A resilience course worries me. I've done training about resilience before and it was all about having to deal with the situation and it not being "fixed" in order to build resilience. I don't think this fits for autistic people at all. We need adaptations etc to cope. We need situations to be "fixed" or it can actually be traumatic. 

If the course has indeed been designed for autistic people I would want a clear layout of what the course involves and I would want those running the course to tell me how exactly it has been adapted for autistic people.