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My ASD son refuses to go to New secondary school

Kam

Hi all,

My ASD son is 11 years old and is refusing to go to secondary school which he started in September 24.  None of his primary school friends there. The main reason for refusal is he feels scared of the kids at new school due to certain comments made to him and feeling certain personalities intimidating. He is social and made a couple of friends but he still feels unsafe.  SENCO and we do agree to certain extent that our son does overthink and feels that kids are going to bully him and when kids look at him he feels as if they are laughing at him or negatively towards him. He is getting art therapy once a week at school but it's not had a significant impact on helping with his anxiety. We are going down the route of an EHA application for outside professional help from an autisim teacher and also a reduced timetable.

At times I am debating whether I should consider transferring him to secondary school where his friends are but my son is unsure whether he wants to transfer as he has had an argument with one of his primary school best friends. My son has also said that his new secondary school has majority girls as opposed to boys. 

Has anyone experienced this? Any advice would greatly appreciated? 

Regards

Kam

  • in reply to VLD

    Hi, thank you for the reply. I am not based in Cambridgeshire but Bedfordshire, would this meeting be open to myself to maybe to understand what other mums are doing ?   

  • Of course you are not alone. This is the norm these days because schools have made themselves so aitism unfriendly.  If you are in Cambridgeshire then google "Pinpoint Cambridgeshire" and join the Zoom events especially the Monday morning "Tii Hub" and you will meet with Al thd others going through the sane experience.

  • Hi Kam,

    Thank you for sharing your sons experience on our online community. 

    Please visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: www.autism.org.uk/.../extra-help-at-school  

    You may find our resource 'What can I do if my child won't go to school?' helpful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/attendance-problems 

    If you require further support, you may like to contact the following regional organisations:  

    England  

    • Every local area has a Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service that can provide information, advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with SEND, including on exclusions:  www.kids.org.uk/sendiass  
    • Independent Provider of Special Education Advice is a registered charity that offers free and independent information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of SEND: www.ipsea.org.uk/   
    •  Coram’s Child Law Advice service can be accessed through their website or contacted on 0300 330 5485 from Monday to Friday, 8am – 6pm: childlawadvice.org.uk/.../  
    • SOS!SEN offers a free, term-time, national helpline, staffed by a team of volunteers, to provide next step advice and support on questions and issues parents may have relating to their child’s SEN provision: https://sossen.org.uk/services/helpline/ Their helpline number is 0208 538 3731.  

    Wales  

    • SNAP Cymru provide advice on a variety of issues that a child or young person may encounter during their education www.snapcymru.org/.../  

     Scotland  

    • Enquire provide advice about additional support for learning for children attending school enquire.org.uk/   
    • Govan Law Centre’s Education Law Unit provide legal advice on the rights of pupils with additional support needs govanlawcentre.org/.../   

     Northern Ireland  

    • The Children’s Law Centre provides a free legal advice service and legal representation for children and young people: childrenslawcentre.org.uk/ 
    • The NI Commissioner for Children and Young People (NICCY) and their work is focused on making sure children and young people have access to their rights in their day-to-day lives, so they have the best opportunity to reach their full potential https://www.niccy.org/ 

    I hope this is helpful. 

    Best Wishes,
    Rosie Mod