Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm super anxious about it and I can't sleep, that's why I'm here.
I'm a 50-year-old male and I first came across what used to be called Asperger's about 15 years ago. I showed it to my partner and said I think I might have that. We both laughed and I didn't take it further, but that stayed with me all these years. Last year I had a really severe burnout, so I finally decided to seriously look into it.
I am self-diagnosed. After doing a lot of research, I am now convinced that I'm on the spectrum. But I still want a medical diagnosis so I can stop obsessing about it and move on with my life.
I'm really worried that they will tell me I'm not autistic. It would be a textbook definition of 'gaslighting'. I think I'd go insane!
I went thorugh a similar experience when I was in my late 50's. Like you, I initially self tested. Since it was hard to find anyone who would work with adults, I was 60 before I was evaluated. I thought my heart would burst when after six hours of testing, the doctor said that she would have a written diagnosis ready for me in three months. I nearly fell over when, after begging for her to just tell me if I was or wasn't autistic, she said, "Oh yes, you're on the spectrum."
Hang in there.
It is good that you want a clinical evaluation. There are other conditions that have similar symptoms such as social anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and being bi-polar.