Refusing to go into school

I am informed similar things as yourself that my daughter can manage on her own so we allow her to do the same at home with the homework and the outcome is she does not understand what it is she has got to do which can then lead to meltdown or screwed up work due to making a mistake (perfectionist), I then write on the back of the homework how long she sat with it and this is the results possibly two questions answered, I reasssure my daughter that is fine so long as she has tried and the teachers need to see what they need to teach you.

It is very frustrating as you feel you begin to get somewhere then wham you go backwards.

I hope all goes well for you at camhs, we have a second appointment with them next week.

 good luck with everything

Its so frustrating isnt it? 

I stayed and watched William in pre-school for 15 minutes this morning. 

He was playing with the interactive white board and other children came over. William took no notice and continued to play and wouldnt let anyone else push the answer buttons. The teacher pointed out the good playing he was doing! playing! its laughable, he wasnt playing at all. 

He also shouted at a student teacher for doing a job he usually does in the morning and had to be reminded of how to say it nicely, to which he said NO!

AND, he needed constant reminding to stay on task when writing his name on his whiteboard this morning

.and they say he needs no help at all. 

I think I will be putting in a statement. William has his CAMHS appointment middle of Feb so hopefully i can get them on board.

Thanks for the advice :)

Hi WilliamsMummy

I am sad to hear of your difficulties having similar myself. worked out it may well be she's (my daughter) a different person in school because her survival depends on her not letting her guard down. So she WILL come across as 'coping' for the very good reason she doesn't want to stand out. The minute she's with us at home-her sanctuary- everything she bottled up throughout the day gets let out. This may be the case for your young person also.

The school see an angel with my daughter she is the model student yet we get the real her, the arguing the reluctance to attend school, the not sleeping the self harming, and sadly school get so defensive when I go in I feel I am hitting my head against a brick wall.

As intenseworld said you can put in for a statement yourself as you know who your son is as a person better than anybody, so you will know what his needs are and what kind of support he needs.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Many high-functioning autistics/Aspies have statements.  My youngest, who is very clever has one and my even cleverer eldest is likely to get one (currently being assessed).

A parent can apply direct themselves to their LA SEN department for their child to be assessed.

You can get advice from your local Parent Partnership organisation and IPSEA:

http://www.parentpartnership.org.uk/find-your-pps

http://www.ipsea.org.uk

which will be invaluable in applying and filling in forms etc.

The school doesn't have to even support it, although obviously it helps if they do.

You can apply for statements even at pre-school age.

For the school not seeing the behaviour, there is a stickied link on the forum from the NAS about this issue and you can print it out or email it to your child's teacher, it's well-known for autistic children to mask their difficulties at school.

Video your child's behaviour at home and keep a diary.  It will all be useful for the statement process.

Sadly some schools don't write IEPs as there is no legal requirement for them to even though it's best practice.

Hi Crystal12, 

Yes is diagnosed as autistic. 

Ive been going through loads of information but im getting a bit lost in it all to be honest. Yes his pre-school is joined onto his future primary school. 

Personally I feel he would benefit from a statement BUT the school just laughed and said dont be stupid because he's higher functioning so they said he would qualify. Especially as they arent providing any help at the moment. 

Hi, am presuming he's diagnosed as autistic?  There's loads of info on the site + also the ipsea site so have a look.  Also lots of posts which are informative + have links.  Is his pre-school attached to his soon to be mainstream school?  I'd get everyone you can think of involved in this because he won't manage without getting what he needs to help him.  Have you applied for a statement of educational needs?  The school doesn't sound like they can be bothered and/or have a clue.  Quite common, sadly.  Many parents have to fight/persevere to get their child what they need.  Good luck with everything.  I'm sure others will be along to offer advice soon.  You will get there.