Published on 12, July, 2020
My 7 year old son is already on his 2nd school having been managed moved from the first. His first term here went without a hitch as he had an excellent teacher, however since September, when he moved to a new class, things have gone from bad to worse. He has not been to class since October and only goes in for half days, I am convinced he has learned nothing this academic year. We are awaiting diagnosis for Autism but are fairly certain he has high functioning ASD, possibly with a PDA profile.
He has been excluded 9 times since September, all for bad behaviour following angry outbursts, the trouble is that he can't control his behaviour once the red mist descends and school don't seem to be capable of keeping him regulated.
He was given an EHCP in December but so far it has had no effect as the school are trying to recruit a 121 teaching assistant in order to put the measures in place.
When my son is regulated he is academically capable, he is sweet and kind and a really great pupil, but he doesn't seem capable of staying regulated at school and I don't know what to do. He can't be the only child who suffers from meltdowns but school don't seem to have any way of handling it.
Has anyone got any positive experience they could share? Any advice? Anyone in Gloucestershire who can recommend any schools in the area who are equipped to handle this?
I don't have any advice but I am in a similar boat with a child of similar age (8) who I am scared is going to get himself expelled soon. He has been better since we put him in a private school (which I had to take a second job to afford) because the class sizes are smaller. I am worried that I will get him kicked out though because his outbursts, while much less frequent, are severe when they happen.
Like I say, no advice because I don't know what to do either, but hugs.
I had to go K-12 to a similar NT environment. I just shut down most of the time and drew and banged my heels against what ever I was sitting on, sometimes violently.. There was an art room and they did let me go there instead of sitting in "study hall" (one of the more pointless tortures inflicted on NDs and Ts alike). Now kids have it a lot better, at least there is a dialog and recognition.
School can be a problem for some ND children. I used to struggle big time at school because I was in an NT mainstream school which was a huge and noisy environment and I never settled into it.
There was some problems, including bullying and eventually my parents removed me from the school and I went to a specialist school specifically for special needs kids. The secondary school I go to is a special school as well. All the staff are trained specific and are supportive.
I would suggest you try to find him a school suitable for him as this will be very distressing for him right now.
You might be able to seek professional help as well like from social services, they stepped in to help me and I think Citizens Advice helped my parents as well.
Are you able to identify his triggers? Artificial lights, too many people around, too many conversations, textures of the seats .... smell of the soap in the toilets .... whatever.... If he is getting overloaded, what is causing that?
You've got a dud school, unfortunately.
Our (now) 7-year-old son was expelled from a private pre-reception setting for violent meltdowns.
He subsequently moved to a mainstream state school where he acquired a 1-to-1 and, subsequently, an EHCP to pay for her support. He's also a very academically capable, sweet and kind young man and, with the help of his 1-to-1, is now able to show his best side in class.
HOWEVER, he had a bumpy two years of being 20% in the classroom (at times) and of attacking children, staff and fleeing the classroom. He has never been sent home or threatened with expulsion - it is illegal.
If the school cannot meet your son's needs, they need to start a process to help him move to a setting (sounds like another mainstream school would be fine) that are better able to meet his needs.
Perhaps you can send him to a more accommodating school, one that is prepared and oriented towards his set of circumstances. I am a firm believer that ND peeps should not be made to learn in and change to fit into NT learning models.
good point
Sometimes a "letter before action" from a lawyer will make a previously intransigent Head Teacher interested in negotiation. Funny that.
Definitely get advice, either from an education lawyer or a specialist advice service such as IPSEA or the NAS. Unless half days are part of an agreed EHCP or short-term support plan, being sent home is possibly (depending on the circumstances) an illegal exclusion. Autistic meltdowns are not ordinary "bad behaviour " they are his way of responding to stress. Schools may not exclude children because they have not met their SEN. The school must demonstrate that they have made reasonable adjustments.
Every exclusion should be followed by a letter detailing your rights to appeal to a panel of governors - you may well have reached the point where you can meet the governors if the half-days off are legally exclusions. You may report suspected illegal exclusions to the local education authority Education Welfare or Standards team.
Hello NAS92101,
I'm sorry to hear that your boy has been expelled from school in the past. The NAS website has a guide on meltdowns. Here is the link: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences
The guide might help you deal with your son's behaviour.
All the best,
Karin Mod
You should be aware that a special educational needs tribunal is an option (even if he is penalised for violent behaviour) it doesn’t sound like you are ready for that yet but it’s good to know you have it in reserve. Also be careful to observe the statue of limitations on bringing a case. You don’t want to spend so long in negotiations you later find out you’ve left it too late for the legal route.