Reaction to violence in book

Totally feel the same, I find it revolting how people can get a thrill from stress, pain and suffering, makes me completely disgusted

I was exactly like this as a kid, I used to have panic attacks at the fear of something being ‘scary’, I remember having to hide in the toilets doing gcse history when the teacher put on schindlers list, give him loads of reassurance and speak to school and ask them to be discrete, he’s definitely not alone

Agreed. That used to be the assumption 50 years ago "what kind of person would actively watch..."

I can't just stand by watching and do nothing. 

Yh some things I just cannot understand why anyone thinks is suitable as entertainment, we know villainy exists and helps move a story forwards but the especially vile stuff we don't need to see it explicitly to know it goes on, it makes me wonder what kind of sick or apathetic person would actively want to watch that stuff play out in full detail for fun. It's no crime to be sensitive.

One thing about being autistic which is unique is our intensity of impact from sense-perception (physical, psychological and emotional), which is far greater degree than our peers. We don't desensitise. We need to actively seek to protect and shield ourselves from sensory assault and often from toxic others or we suffer far severe consequence.  We have trouble predicting social elements including how cruel humans are and there for the shock might not leave our system. In other words, a thing encountered by the imagination can cause PTSD. Because, essentially, that's where our memories are stored. I've read a few acts of horrendous violence which didn't give a content warning and will never get them out of my head. I wish I'd never read them, because I can't un-ring that bell or un-see that thing. It's caused personal trauma that has interfered in relationships or moments with others. Even intimacy. 

CONTENT WARNING

The degree of desensitisation which the non-autistic population can just use to repress or forget and move on is mind numbing. Often, the cruelties in stories might become more intense, with more shock value due to the ability to desensitise. For instance, when The Dark Knight came out, Heath Ledger's joker was a type of real sadism I'd never seen as "entertainment". It made me physically sick, I left the theatre within 15 minutes. And it's not just a deep sense of justice or sensing injustice so deeply, it's that passive internalising of that kind of sickness is a kind of social virus. And I couldn't believe millions were just watching this when he was portraying the kind of evil that actually exists in the world forcing children into slavery, girls in to being raped daily, and so much human cruelty.

There's no reason to force a child to be exposed to something they're not ready for. We're not savage. 

Is it worth getting a copy of the book and reading it together first at home? You can monitor his reaction as you’re reading it, stop if it gets too much, and would give you a chance to have a discussion together about what’s happening and how it’s making him feel? Nah be a good bonding thing to reassure him he can open up to you about things rather than hiding it.

I remember being at school and would do anything to fit in and not make a scene so i can imagine the thought of reading it through at school would cause him anxiety, particularly in class which is more likely to make him feel physically ill, also the attention it would cause by running out of class or people knowing he had vomited would have been horrifying to me. If he has read it beforehand and knows what’s coming maybe it will prepare him enough to just act like everyone else on the surface when reading it?

I know for me, i hate not knowing what’s going to happen. I’m a nightmare at googling the endings to films, tv series and books to prepare myself, so maybe this is also something he struggles with as an autistic person? 

hope you find a solution :) 

This is so helpful thank you. I am an undiagnosed autistic person and I also have a strong aversion to violence and suspense. Like ridiculously so - I often skip forward in stuff to make sure it’s all ok before I watch. I can’t watch quiz shows either as I don’t like the will they or won’t they win thing either. So I do totally get this. It was the physical response that he had that really surprised me though. 

I have got myself a copy of the book and have started reading it myself so I can prepare him and chat about it. 

the pro and con idea is good and will try that. He has such rigid thinking though it’s often very hard to get him to see things is another way.

I don't know about this level of response (physically being sick) but I don't think reactions to depictions or descriptions of violence causing violent reactions is necessarily unusual. I know two separate people who had physiological reactions (being sick and fainting) to listening to descriptions of large amounts of blood.

And on the autistic side of it, it was more suspense than violence, but I have never been able to handle suspense or drama in films, and my younger brother struggles even more, and had to run away from the room when being read 'the naughtiest girl' because she was being naughty. 

So overall, he definitely isn't alone in having a strong physiological response to descriptions of violence.

I think the fear of the book about war being violent is a very reasonable one. While I'm aware he may not want to be singled out, I think having a conversation with the teacher so he can exit quickly if he needs to. Now it has happened once he has a better idea of the warning signs so he can leave quicker. It may also mean the teacher can give him advanced notice if there is a particularly violent passage or part in it, which he can avoid if need be. 

The teacher won't want him to throw up in class either. It's messy and gross and an inconvenience, as well as very embarrassing. The teacher should therefore be understanding and provide the necessary assistance. 

Accepting the help can absolutely be difficult, but it may help to work with him to make a pro con list of talking to his teacher.

Pro: can avoid being sick in class

con: people notice him leaving class

Let me know if you have any more questions or any clarifications for where I have made assumptions.

Good luck

Bumping thread.