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Reaction to violence in book

NAS89668

Hi there. Wonder if anyone has any advice. My son has recently had his diagnosis. He is 11. He doesn’t open up to me a lot about anything, knows he was being assessed for autism but doesn’t want to know what was said.

he recently came to me upset saying he was worried about school because they were going to be starting a new book about the war and he was worried it was going to be violent. He then revealed that the reason he had been sent home from school after being sick on himself a month or so ago was because there was a scene in the book where someone was stabbed and it talked about the blood. He didn’t mention this at the time. He said when they were reading it be started to sweat and feel sick and didn’t make it to the toilet on time. He told us none of this at the time which is concerning, but we are working on building trust and communication around this kind of thing.

i am wondering if anyone had any insight into what’s happened, what this reaction was, and any suggestions on how I can support him. He doesn’t want to be embarrassed by any special treatment at school, but it’s clearly a big worry for him. I am new to all this.

susie 

Parents

  • I don't know about this level of response (physically being sick) but I don't think reactions to depictions or descriptions of violence causing violent reactions is necessarily unusual. I know two separate people who had physiological reactions (being sick and fainting) to listening to descriptions of large amounts of blood.

    And on the autistic side of it, it was more suspense than violence, but I have never been able to handle suspense or drama in films, and my younger brother struggles even more, and had to run away from the room when being read 'the naughtiest girl' because she was being naughty. 

    So overall, he definitely isn't alone in having a strong physiological response to descriptions of violence.

    I think the fear of the book about war being violent is a very reasonable one. While I'm aware he may not want to be singled out, I think having a conversation with the teacher so he can exit quickly if he needs to. Now it has happened once he has a better idea of the warning signs so he can leave quicker. It may also mean the teacher can give him advanced notice if there is a particularly violent passage or part in it, which he can avoid if need be. 

    The teacher won't want him to throw up in class either. It's messy and gross and an inconvenience, as well as very embarrassing. The teacher should therefore be understanding and provide the necessary assistance. 

    Accepting the help can absolutely be difficult, but it may help to work with him to make a pro con list of talking to his teacher.

    Pro: can avoid being sick in class

    con: people notice him leaving class

    Let me know if you have any more questions or any clarifications for where I have made assumptions.

    Good luck

Reply

  • I don't know about this level of response (physically being sick) but I don't think reactions to depictions or descriptions of violence causing violent reactions is necessarily unusual. I know two separate people who had physiological reactions (being sick and fainting) to listening to descriptions of large amounts of blood.

    And on the autistic side of it, it was more suspense than violence, but I have never been able to handle suspense or drama in films, and my younger brother struggles even more, and had to run away from the room when being read 'the naughtiest girl' because she was being naughty. 

    So overall, he definitely isn't alone in having a strong physiological response to descriptions of violence.

    I think the fear of the book about war being violent is a very reasonable one. While I'm aware he may not want to be singled out, I think having a conversation with the teacher so he can exit quickly if he needs to. Now it has happened once he has a better idea of the warning signs so he can leave quicker. It may also mean the teacher can give him advanced notice if there is a particularly violent passage or part in it, which he can avoid if need be. 

    The teacher won't want him to throw up in class either. It's messy and gross and an inconvenience, as well as very embarrassing. The teacher should therefore be understanding and provide the necessary assistance. 

    Accepting the help can absolutely be difficult, but it may help to work with him to make a pro con list of talking to his teacher.

    Pro: can avoid being sick in class

    con: people notice him leaving class

    Let me know if you have any more questions or any clarifications for where I have made assumptions.

    Good luck

Children
  • in reply to Fibonacci Squid

    This is so helpful thank you. I am an undiagnosed autistic person and I also have a strong aversion to violence and suspense. Like ridiculously so - I often skip forward in stuff to make sure it’s all ok before I watch. I can’t watch quiz shows either as I don’t like the will they or won’t they win thing either. So I do totally get this. It was the physical response that he had that really surprised me though. 

    I have got myself a copy of the book and have started reading it myself so I can prepare him and chat about it. 

    the pro and con idea is good and will try that. He has such rigid thinking though it’s often very hard to get him to see things is another way.