Trashing the place

My 8 yo daughter trashes the house every day. No matter how much I try to pre-empt it, or work out what triggers it, I can’t stop it. It is wearing me down so much. Today she took food out of the cupboard and threw it at me along with other stuff, and threw dirt and water all over the kitchen as well. And that’s on top of trashing the rest of the downstairs, as usual. How can I keep going when it’s like this every day? I’m so worn out and disheartened. She says she hates me and I’m not her real mum because my real mum wouldn’t be like me. I know she needs my help, and I’m trying to give it to her but it’s so hard when she throws it so hard back at me. She’s not in school at the moment because her anxiety is so severe. I feel like no one can help us