Poor self image

It may not necessarily be bullying - I say this because I was that girl, and still am. I haven't been out in over 10 years out of the fear of being seen and hating myself for how I look. I never had people tell me I look bad, in fact when all of it began I was generally found attractive by people around me. It can be a completely internal and personal feeling rather than one imposed by others.

I don't like how I look, and thats why I don't want to be seen. It's not so much that others haven't liked it, but that I don't look the way I want to and therefore don't want people to perceive me in this state? I'm currently still dealing with it and may be for the foreseeable future. I have a lot of health problems that have always prevented me from being the way I've wanted to be, and I have actively fought against them for my entire life.

It isn't healthy, for sure. I'm not really sure what to suggest to help her as I'm in the same boat.

It could be worth trying to find out why exactly she is concerned about how she looks, is it because of how she personally feels about herself or is it bullying - is it because she wants to look a certain way that she feels she can't, etc.

Telling her that there isn't anything wrong with how she looks will most likely not even help, because it never did with me and even people actively complimenting me just made me even more upset rather than feel better - because at the end of the day, I still didn't like what I saw, even if others didn't see the same.

It may not necessarily be bullying - I say this because I was that girl, and still am. I haven't been out in over 10 years out of the fear of being seen and hating myself for how I look. I never had people tell me I look bad, in fact when all of it began I was generally found attractive by people around me. It can be a completely internal and personal feeling rather than one imposed by others.

I don't like how I look, and thats why I don't want to be seen. It's not so much that others haven't liked it, but that I don't look the way I want to and therefore don't want people to perceive me in this state? I'm currently still dealing with it and may be for the foreseeable future. I have a lot of health problems that have always prevented me from being the way I've wanted to be, and I have actively fought against them for my entire life.

It isn't healthy, for sure. I'm not really sure what to suggest to help her as I'm in the same boat.

It could be worth trying to find out why exactly she is concerned about how she looks, is it because of how she personally feels about herself or is it bullying - is it because she wants to look a certain way that she feels she can't, etc.

Telling her that there isn't anything wrong with how she looks will most likely not even help, because it never did with me and even people actively complimenting me just made me even more upset rather than feel better - because at the end of the day, I still didn't like what I saw, even if others didn't see the same.

Thanks for sharing this. She's told me it's not bullying and just that she doesn't like how she looks. Like you, it doesn't help to tell her she's beautiful/ pretty etc as she says that it doesn't matter what I think it's what she thinks that matters. Has anyone ever been able to shift your focus away from looks? This is the only practical thing I can think to do - provide a distraction, perhaps a pet.