Published on 12, July, 2020
My 23 year old son has just confessed that he has failed his second year of Uni for the second time. He managed the first year fine. The first time he tried the second year, he couldn’t handle the lack of routine during Covid and the second time he took the second year ie last year, he felt anxiety and suffered panic attacks about the invasion of Ukraine. He has spent what I thought was his third year of uni in halls paid for out of his savings leading us to believe he was managing and completing his third year. He is unable to say what support the uni offered as he stuck his head in the sand. I am waiting to hear back from the uni to see if they can reimburse any money for the next term’s housing costs and also to try to work out what went wrong. I feel shocked and hugely anxious even tho I knew something was wrong. He has lied three times about educational progress - the first time about a history a level he was studying for, the second time about not completing his covid year and now this last year. He obviously cannot handle failure and cannot ask for or accept help. Anybody experienced anything similar? Thanks.
Hi, I am a parent of a lovely son who is undiagnosed autistic. He has been struggling so much since he went to university. He dropped out and worked for a year, went back to a different degree and then back to his original degree. He's out in industry at the moment, still living at home and mostly working from home. He has no friends. His daily routine outside the house is to go to Sainsburys. He is ashamed of autism. He was assessed at age 11 and they said he wasnt autistic. I dont know how to get him the help he needs now. i help him with each individual hurdle, but i see we arnt getting to the core issue. how can i gently help him to seek a diagnosis?
Hello.
Please forgive me if this sounds abrupt or rude - I sincerely do not mean it that way.....
What makes you think that your son is struggling? He has a job and is venturing out daily. Having no friends is not necessarily a sign of struggling and nor is having a lifestyle that doesn't conform to social "norms."
Are there specific things that your son has been telling you that he is struggling with......or are you making assumptions?
Again, rest assured that I raise this as enquiry - not accusation or implied criticism.
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